What We Used to Be
by X.G. Sky
Summary: For Faberry week Day 3: Beth. Quinn makes a change the summer before senior year that sends her spiraling downward and she takes Rachel along with her. What happens when someone from their past returns? Could they both recover? Featuring: Punk!Quinn, Rachel, The Mack and the rest of the Skanks. Beth, Shelby and Puck later on. Warning: Mild violence and drug use.
1. Surreal (Part I)

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of it's characters.

A/N: This is a story for Faberry week Day 3: Beth. The first two chapters are a lead in laying down the foundation for Rachel and Quinn's relationship before Shelby comes back into town. I hope everyone enjoys.

* * *

Surreal (Part I)

'Screw Finn and his big stupid face. Who does he think he is? Parading around with her at the mall of all places. Why did I have to see them?'

Quinn slams her bedroom door shut after stomping up the stairs. She had just gone out while her mother was at work to go shopping for a new bikini to wear to Santana's pool party on Saturday.

She had made her purchase and then she thought about getting herself a treat at the food court when she saw them. Finn holding hands with Rachel as they walked carefree through the crowd. She ran when she saw them and she hopes that they didn't see her, she didn't look back to check.

She drops the bag containing her new swimwear onto the floor before stripping off her dress and kicking off her heels. She is so tired of conforming and trying to be the perfect girl only to have things blow up in her face. If Rachel wants to take her spot, so be it, she can have it. Hell, she could even sign up for Cheerios if she wants to, see if she can take the constant pressure.

That's all behind Quinn now, she is going to start fresh for senior year. She rummages through the back of her closet and finds an old Flyleaf t-shirt that she had gotten free at a Christian rock concert a while ago. It's too big, so she takes out a large pair of scissors and starts to shear it down to fit. When she gets the right shape, she runs out to her mother's room and into her closet to get a box of safety pins to piece the garment back together again. She tries it on, and she likes the way a little of her stomach shows.

She completes her look with a pair of black skinny jeans and her black chucks that she has for glee club performances. She goes back to her mirror to check, much better, but it still needs something.

Her nose stings as she drives away from the piercing shop in the nicer side of town, she looks in the rear-view mirror to eye the silver ring hanging from her left nostril. She is now passing over actual railroad tracks into the sketchier part of town. All of the other liquor stores refuse to sell her cigarettes, and the Re-Up in Lima Heights Adjacent is her last resort.

She walks into the place and confidently strides up to the counter. There is a familiar looking girl working back there, she looks young and naive enough to talk her into selling her a pack.

"Hi, uh can I get a pack of Newport's?"

"I.D.?"

"I don't have my purse with me."

"Hmm," The girl's lips curl into a mischievous smile. She gets out a pack of Newport's and slams it onto the counter. "Don't I know you?"

Quinn knows the girl from somewhere, "Do you go to McKinley?"

"Yeah, I do. Wait, did you…weren't you pregnant before?"

Quinn tenses up, the girl definitely goes to McKinley. She tries to let it roll off her back.

"Yes. In tenth grade." She replies tensely.

"Me too! Don't you remember? I was in the unwed mothers club with you, Quinn Fabray."

So, that's where… "Right, um well I'll just take the pack and uh," She reaches for a lighter. "And this."

"It's on the house." The girl says sliding the pack and lighter combo towards Quinn.

"Thanks." Quinn lets a smile break through, even though she wanted to seem like she does this all the time.

"Seriously? You really don't remember me? Everybody calls me The Mack. You've had to have heard about me."

"Maybe, I guess I tried to erase that part of my life out of my brain for my own sanity. I knew that you looked familiar though."

"Well, nice seeing you again. Maybe we could hang out when school starts or something."

"Okay." Quinn turns after giving The Mack a small wave and walking past the shelves of junk food towards the exit.

"Hey, Quinn!"

She turns and looks back.

"If you want to pay me back for the smokes, come back around seven. This place'll be closed and we hang out in the parking lot after."

"Who's 'we'?" Quinn asks curiously. She doesn't know this girl, she could be trying to set up the rich kid or something.

"Me and my girls, and maybe a couple of guys, I guess. I promise they're harmless."

Quinn nods, she may be interested in a new atmosphere as well to compliment her new look. "Yeah, sure. I'll come back."

"Cool."

The Mack looks partially pleased yet surprised at her quick acceptance. Quinn walks out and gets into her car, tapping out her first cigarette and lighting up. She pulls away from the liquor store and then has to pull over half way down the street because she started to choke.

* * *

Seeing Quinn at the mall earlier has been plaguing Rachel's mind for the rest of the day. Finn trying to cop a feel right now is only serving to grate on her nerves.

She wishes she knew why Quinn would see them and run away like that. On the last day of school, everyone seemed okay with her being with Finn now. Maybe she didn't notice Quinn's subtle opposition that day, but her reaction in the mall earlier was nothing short of disapproval.

"Finn, stop!" Rachel pushes him off of her in order to sit up on his bed.

"What? I thought maybe we could at least get to second tonight."

"No, can't you tell I'm not in the mood right now."

"Wh-Why not?"

"I can't concentrate on doing anything with you right now. I keep thinking about Quinn."

"Really?" Finn's eyes are wide and his smirk is creepily in place.

"Not like that you weirdo! From earlier, when I saw her at the mall. I can't believe you didn't see her. She saw us and then she just looked so hurt and she ran away. I really would like to know why."

"Oh come on Rachel, how do you know she even saw us? And how could you be so sure that was really even her? You know what I think? I think you're just making up excuses so you don't have to do stuff with me."

Rachel is appalled at his accusation. "How dare you say that?"

"Look Rachel, we went further than this last year, and now you're never in the mood. We should be going all the way by now."

"I'm sorry, but I didn't know that there was some sort of time frame for love making Finn. Don't you care if I'm ready and comfortable with you before we take that route?"

"You know I do, but I don't get why you aren't ready yet. I love you, and I want to show you how much, now come on." He reaches out to draw her closer to him but she stands from the bed.

"Oh my God! What is with you? I can't deal with this hot/cold routine anymore." He shouts.

"And what is that supposed to mean? Either I give it up, or…what?"

"I don't know."

His eyes tell a different story, and Rachel can tell he's trying to evade answering truthfully to avoid looking like a jerk.

"I cannot believe you Finn! How could you be so insensitive? Unlike you, this is my first time we're talking about here. Is it wrong of me if I want to feel a certain way before I let it go?"

"No, I just wish you would figure out your feelings for me sooner than later."

Rachel thinks about how she feels and she comes up short, she wonders what Quinn would do in this situation.

"Did you act like this with Quinn? Did she give in? If she did, then maybe you should go back to her. She seems to miss you a great deal, since she couldn't stand seeing us together today."

"What are you talking about? I never had sex with Quinn! And stop with that stuff about her at the mall! I broke up with her for you! Don't you see how much I love you?" Finn turns away from her and sits on the edge of his bed. "Or maybe you don't love me as much as I love you or something." He says morosely.

"I-I do love you Finn, but I don't think I'm going to be ready to take that step for a while."

"Well maybe we should take a break or something? For the rest of summer, we can get a chance to miss each other and you'll have time to figure things out. And on the Saturday before school starts, we come back together and hopefully you'll be ready then."

"You're… breaking up with me?"

"Uh, only for the summer. I mean, no, j-just a break. Look, I'm just giving you the space that you need to figure out whatever your problem is with sex."

"I do not have a problem with sex! I can't believe…ugh! What am I even doing here? You are a pig Finn Hudson! You're breaking up with me because I won't have sex with you! Admit it!"

He doesn't reply so Rachel grabs her purse and storms right out of his room and then the front door of his house. She forgot that he had picked her up earlier in his truck and she briefly thinks of turning back, but then she keeps on walking down the street. She rounds a corner into the more prominent section of the neighborhood. She'll see if Quinn could drive her home.

* * *

The sky is growing darker as Quinn travels in her little red beetle back across those railroad tracks to the more rustic part of town. She pulls into the Re-Up parking lot to see The Mack and a few other people hanging out of the back of a pickup truck.

The Mack hops down from the tailgate and rushes over to her car. She rolls down her window she approaches.

"Hey! I totally didn't think you would show, girl."

"I owe you don't I?"

"That you do." She stoops down and Quinn can smell the alcohol on her breath. "Hey, you wanna go to my house? Well, my apartment, you know what I mean. My car's broken down and Sheila over there usually takes me home."

Quinn looks over at the people sitting on the tailgate of the truck. Two girls that she's seen pushing around freshman last year along with two scrawny looking guys dressed in all black.

"Yeah, I'll drive you."

"Cool! Thanks Quinn, we could hang out better in my room anyway." The Mack waves goodbye to her friends before going around to the passenger side and hopping in.

Quinn watches her look around the interior briefly, and then she giggles. "Your car is almost as cute as you are."

Quinn represses a smile and chooses to ignore that. "So, um _The Mack_, where do you live?"

"You can just call me Mack for short. Just go straight down the street here," Mack directs Quinn to her house a few streets down from the Re-Up.

It's an old apartment complex, the kind fashioned out of a once rundown motel, complete with an empty pool dead in the center of the courtyard.

"I know it looks pretty shitty out here, but my place is clean."

Quinn doesn't know how to respond to that aside from keeping silent and continuing on behind her up a rusty metal staircase to her apartment.

Mack was right, it is cleaner in here than the crummy exterior infers. She leads Quinn through a dim living room full of second-hand furniture and picture frames, then down a pallid hallway to a back bedroom.

"We have to be quiet, my aunt doesn't allow me to bring people in here."

Quinn narrows her eyes, she wonders why she invited her inside if she wasn't supposed to have people over. She doesn't know why, but thinking about following the rules made her think about her parents and that made her remember something about Mack. She had told her back in their club days that her mother had died of cancer the year prior.

It explains why she lives here with her aunt and why she probably doesn't listen to anything she tells her. She closes the door and Quinn stands in the middle of the floor, surveying her surroundings.

Mack's room is dark, painted that way, and the walls are covered with posters, pictures and other odd trinkets. A huge Led Zeppelin poster really stands out at her and directly under it sits an old turntable on a little table against the wall.

"You're really into a lot of different music. It's like Led Zeppelin, then Evanescence, and then Lil' Wayne up there."

"I like a lot of different things for different reasons. Like, Evanescence is one of the bands that really helped me cope with losing my mom."

Quinn shuts up as Mack puts on a record, she smiles when Elliott Smith begins to play. Mack then leads her to sit on her bed with her after removing a few stray items and tossing them aside. There is a little pile of discarded clothing sitting by the closet, but other than that, it is one of the cleanest rooms she's been in aside from her own and maybe Rachel's.

Now she's thinking about Rachel, and how much it hurt to see her with Finn at the mall earlier. Mack offers her a swig from a bottle of champagne cognac that she pulls out from somewhere and she gladly accepts. Between the Bars starts playing and she laughs internally.

They get to talking shortly after they've both ingested enough liquid courage to open up to one another. They trade stories of childbirth, giving up their babies, and how much it still hurts sometimes. Then the conversation veers off towards school and their plans for next year.

"So you're going to quit everything? What about college?"

"Oh I'm still going to college, my years as a cheerleader and show choir member as well as many other clubs will pad my application just fine."

"That's good, but why exactly are you giving it up now?"

"Well, I already quit cheer, and glee club…it's a complicated situation."

"This sounds juicy, tell me."

"It's not, I just don't want to sit there every day staring at my ex while he parades around with Rachel Berry in front of everyone."

"Damn, now I get it. I bet you hate that girl don't you?"

Quinn takes another swig of the strong liquor, she doesn't hate Rachel, lately she's been feeling quite the opposite. She does hate what her feelings are doing to her.

"Something like that. Anyway, like I said, I don't need glee just like I don't need him anymore."

"Don't guys just piss you off sometimes? I feel like one day I'm just going to give up and start macking on girls instead."

Quinn pauses, is that what this is? Was Mack hitting on her earlier? She has to admit that she is extremely flattered, Mack is a pretty girl.

"So, have you ever…" Quinn allows herself to trail off because she suddenly too nervous to ask.

"Hooked up with a girl? No, but recently I have been wondering what it would be like to, you know, go down on a girl." She averts her eyes. "I don't know why, I guess I just want to see, you know." Mack shrugs as she takes another sip from the bottle.

They're lounging now, Quinn is sitting up against Mack's headboard, and Mack is right next to her, looking up at her from her pillow.

Quinn can feel her face get warm at the way Mack looks at her curiously. She tilts her head back and clicks her tongue, the awkward silence is deafening.

For some insane reason, Quinn decides to throw all caution to the wind. She reaches down to grab the bottle from Mack's grip, allowing her hand to linger on the one she has wrapped around the neck of the bottle. She looks down at her, daring her to do something.

Mack hesitates slightly before reaching up and cupping Quinn's cheek. She swallows audibly before leaning forward and actually kissing her.

It lasts a few seconds before Mack pulls back, "Are you sure about this? I'm just curious you know, it doesn't mean I'm gay or anything, um maybe I'm bi-curious?"

Mack takes a breath and Quinn brings the cool bottle to her lips once more swallowing a few gulps before nodding.

"Yeah, so, what if I am too?"

Mack nods as she moves her hands lower to begin unfastening Quinn's belt buckle. Quinn holds in a breath as she watches her shoes and pants come off of her body.

Mack gets into position between Quinn's legs. "You smell really good, um I'm sorry, was that weird?" She winces.

Quinn chuckles lightly before taking another huge gulp of alcohol. "No, just…maybe we shouldn't talk."

"Okay," Mack hooks her thumbs underneath the hem of Quinn's panties. She reaches up and places a kiss right below Quinn's bellybutton.

Quinn shivers at the sudden contact so near to her private area. She's pretty sure no one has ever kissed her there before.

There go her panties, she can feel her face burning. No one has ever seen her like this before and now she's just letting someone she barely knows she her. It's liberating and fitting, seeing how just earlier today she was a totally different person.

Mack makes first contact and she gasps, a wave of something electrifying goes through her entire body. It's awakening, how open she feels in this moment. She starts to hyperventilate when Mack finds her clit. Nothing should feel this good.

She opens her eyes to stare down at the mess of dark locks writhing between her thighs. If she wants, she could probably imagine that…that it's Rachel doing this to her right now. It's not like she hasn't before, but this is far better than anything she could do to herself while thinking of her.

She's close, she can feel it building up the it always does. She holds her breath at times to speed up the process, not that she wants it over so soon, she just needs to come.

Her head presses into the pillow, "God Rachel!" she chokes out as she comes down.

Mack sits straight up after hearing that and Quinn snaps her legs shut. She gets up and starts to get her clothes back on.

"I-I'm sorry, I have to go."

She feels like she can't breathe, and she cannot get out of Mack's apartment quickly enough. She's glad Mack didn't say anything. She probably thinks that she's a freak now or something.

* * *

It's chilly for summer, Rachel thinks as she rings the doorbell of the Fabray residence. She wraps her arms around herself as she checks out the empty driveway. She hopes Quinn's home.

"Hello dear," Mrs. Fabray says as she opens the front door, smiling at Rachel.

"Hello Mrs. Fabray, I'm looking for Quinn, is she here by any chance?"

"No, I'm sorry Rachel, but you just missed her. I didn't see her before she left, so I have no idea when she'll be back."

"Okay then, can I come inside? I apologize if I'm intruding, but I walked here and it's kind of cold out here."

"Oh sure honey, you are very welcome to come in. You can wait here until Quinnie comes home."

Rachel gives Mrs. Fabray a bright smile, she is definitely more friendlier than her daughter. She steps through the foyer into one of the most beautifully decorated living rooms Rachel's ever seen. It looks like it belongs on HGTV.

"You can sit on one of the couches while you wait if you like. I'm sorry but we don't have a television down here, you can go up to Quinn's room and wait there, she has a TV."

Rachel knows full well that Quinn wouldn't want her snooping around in her room without her consent.

"Oh no, I'm fine. I'll just wait down here." She says quietly.

"Okay, would you like something to drink? We have water and Quinnie likes those low-calorie drinks, we have those. Would you like that?"

"Um, I think water's fine. I'll have that thank you." Rachel finishes with a nod and Mrs. Fabray disappears into the kitchen.

She takes out her phone to see a text from Finn asking if she's alright. He says he called her house and her dad told him that she wasn't home. She contemplates texting him to tell him she's safe but she decides to let him worry a while.

She dials Quinn's number and it rings for a long time before going to message.

"H-hello Quinn, it's Rachel Berry, um, I'm at your house right now. I was wondering if you'd be coming home soon? Your mother is very sweet, um okay, just call me back when you get this, okay? Bye." Rachel shakes her head as she presses the button to send that atrocious message to Quinn. She knows if she tries to record another one, it will probably be worse.

Mrs. Fabray comes back with a bottle of water along with a glass to pour it in. She has her own glass as well and Rachel watches as she goes over to the bar to pour herself a glass of dark liquor.

"If you need anything I'll be upstairs. It's the last room down the hall, okay sweetie." Mrs. Fabray gives her a small smile before leaving the living room once again.

"O-okay,"

Rachel has never been inside of Quinn's house before, she doesn't even know where the staircase even is from here. She decides not to dwell on it because Quinn should come home soon after she gets her message.

After an hour of playing games on her phone, the battery id going dead. She looks over at an outlet next to the couch. She plugs her phone charger in over there and she sits in the nearby chair in order to continue using her phone while it charges.

Her eyes begin to sting a little and then she yawns, 'Why am I so sleepy?' She wonders. She curls up in the chair and sits her phone on the table right next to her so that she could be awakened by it when Quinn calls. She falls asleep right away.

"Rachel, Rachel sweetie, wake up."

"Hmm?" She rubs at her eyes to see Mrs. Fabray leaning down looking at her. "I'm sorry, I fell asleep. Is Quinn back?"

"No, and I've tried calling her but she never answers my calls when she's out, maybe if you try. Anyway, it's late, did you want to maybe go up to a room and lie down on a bed?"

"Um, I don't want to impose, I'll try to call her again, then I'll just call my dad to come and get me."

"Okay, whatever you choose is fine with me. Quinn never has anyone over anymore. The last person she had over was her boyfriend and now he doesn't come around anymore either."

Rachel swallows down the lump in her throat. If Mrs. Fabray had known that she was the reason for that, she'd probably change her mind about her staying the night. She'll probably want to know what she wants with Quinn, and Rachel doesn't know if she would have a clear answer for her. She just knows that Quinn can surely empathize with how she feels right now.

She unplugs her phone and sends Quinn a text reiterating her earlier message. Then she sends a text to Finn and her dads telling them she's somewhere safe.

* * *

'My God, I'm an idiot. This is why you shouldn't take chances and do risky things like that. Didn't you learn from the first time? You should have stuck to the cigarettes Quinn, only the cigarettes. She could tell everyone at school about this and then they will all know.'

Quinn shakes her head as she taps out another cigarette and puts it into her mouth. She reaches into the center console for her lighter and then she sees that she has several missed calls on her cell phone. She flicks the lighter and lights up her cigarette as she unlocks her phone. There are like ten missed calls from her mom and there's one from Rachel. She wonders why the hell Rachel would be calling her, the time says it was only a few hours ago and knowing Rachel, she probably left a message.

She dials in her number to check her voicemail, she skips through to today's messages. There is one from Rachel and she listens to it.

"What? Why the hell was she at my house?" Quinn cannot believe she was out doing what she just did, when Rachel was at her house tonight. And on top of it, the thoughts going through her mind during it that led to her name slipping out, Quinn cringes.

She makes her way back towards Lima Heights, crossing the railroad track for the fourth time today. She doesn't plan on crossing that line again for a while.

Her phone beeps, meaning she has a text. She stops at a red light and finally picks it up, it's from Rachel so she reads it.

'Hi, Quinn, I am still at your house. Call me if you're not going to come home tonight. Thanks, bye.' –Rachel

Quinn tosses her phone down to take off when the light turns green again. She wonders what is wrong that had Rachel waiting at her house all this time. Did something happen at home? All sorts of questions flow through Quinn's mind and she speeds up a little in order to get to Rachel faster.

The minute she pulls into her driveway, she looks up into her vanity mirror. "Shoot! My nose ring." For some reason, she doesn't want Rachel to see her like this. She'll only ask stupid questions about what brought this about and whatever.

She reaches into her backseat, grabs her long tan coat, and wraps herself up in it. It covers her enough to hide her actual attire, now the nose ring, that's going to be harder to shield from view.

Rachel can hear keys jingle in the front door, so she stands up, hoping that it's Quinn. She walks into the foyer to see her there, a sigh of relief exits her lungs without her expecting it.

"Quinn, thank goodness you came home. I've been waiting for hours."

"Hey, um what are you doing here in the first place? Why didn't you call before you came?" Quinn appreciates the darkness in the foyer, hopefully Rachel cannot see her piercing from where she's standing.

"I walked here from Finn's house, um," She looks down at her hands, "He kind of broke up with me."

Quinn scoffs in disbelief, is God trying to punish her even more for what she's done?

"He what?" Quinn reaches up to grip the back of her neck, her arm effectively blocks the left side of her nose she thinks.

"Wait, I mean, I heard what you said. Are you okay?" She asks Rachel.

"I'm not sure how I feel just yet. I just wanted to talk to you about it, but now it's late and you're probably tired."

"N-no, I've just been drinking." She doesn't know why she just told her that. "Um, I need to go take a shower, uh you can stay tonight if you want to."

Rachel nods as she looks into Quinn's eyes the best she can in the dark. She was out partying, she never would have expected that. She's also acting shifty, could she be high as well?

"Well come on, I'll show you to the guest room." Quinn walks out of the foyer and rushes up one of the staircases.

Rachel feels her mouth drop open, there are two sets of stairs leading to the second floor. She has to ask Quinn for a tour of this place tomorrow.

"Here it is. There's stuff in the bathroom if you want to shower. I might have something for you to wear," Quinn walks in to show her around quickly before ducking her head and leaving her in there alone.

She hurries off to her room to search for something for Rachel to sleep in. She grabs a pair of pajamas, rushes back to the guest room and tosses them to Rachel.

"Here you go, I'm going to go shower, we can talk after if you want. Alright," Quinn leaves her again and closes herself into her own room before stripping out of her outfit for today.

She turns on the shower and allows the warm water to wash away the scum she feels on her skin that really isn't there. But she feels it, she feels like scum for doing what she did to Rachel tonight, even though Rachel knows nothing of it.

'Finn dumped her and you were off fucking someone else while she sat in your living room for _hours_. You should feel like shit, idiot.'

Quinn punches at the stone wall of her shower repeatedly as she cries. There is no way she could tell Rachel what happened, but if she doesn't she's no better than Finn. That is if Rachel is even willing to see past all of her flaws to give her a chance. Maybe this is their year? It's most likely not, but she can pretend to hope every once in a while.

* * *

'What was all that? Quinn is acting extremely weird. Is she angry that I came over here? And she's probably just being as polite as she can by letting me spend the night. How could I expect her to let me in after everything we've been through?'

Rachel takes the clothes that Quinn threw at her to the bathroom. She flicks on the light switch and she is thrown with how wonderful it is in there. There is a nice granite shower, what looks like mahogany cabinetry, and an overall apothecary theme to the bathroom.

After her shower, Quinn looks in the mirror for a long time. Her eyes are really red and puffy, she searches the medicine cabinet for eyedrops. She finishes dressing and then she goes back into her room to plop down on her bed.

Rachel knocks on Quinn's bedroom door, it's the only one cracked open a little and she can see Quinn on her bed through the sliver.

"Come in." Quinn lies on her left side, facing away from the door. She doesn't get up, she just hopes Rachel comes in on her own.

Rachel pushes the door open, only to stand timidly near the doorframe. The room is decorated in wallpaper, striped with flowers. The floor is covered with the softest looking fluffy white carpet and in the center of the room is a sure to be queen sized four-post bed with lots of pillows on top of a pretty pink comforter.

"Your room is beautiful. It has such a classic feel, it really suits you. Your whole house looks great as well." Rachel adds, fumbling with her hands.

"Thanks, I'll tell my mom you appreciate her décor, maybe she'll keep it around longer than six months." Quinn snorts.

Rachel has no clue why she's suddenly feeling this anxious right now.

Quinn lifts her head and glances over to see Rachel standing in the doorway, picking at her hands.

"I said come in Rachel. Don't just stand there, you came to talk, come and talk."

"Um, okay." Rachel swallows before closing Quinn's door and walking towards Quinn's bed. "Can I sit here?" She says gesturing to the bed even though Quinn has her back to her.

"Yeah," Quinn slightly lifts her head just enough to not show her left side.

Rachel takes a seat next to her, she clears her throat, it's suddenly tight for some reason. She has no idea why talking alone with Quinn like this is making her so nervous.

'Well there's your answer, you're about to talk to Quinn Fabray, alone, in her bedroom, about the boy that recently dumped her for you.' It's times like this that makes Rachel understand why she doesn't have many good friends. She can be very insensitive sometimes.

"I guess I should apologize beforehand for subjecting you to this. I just don't know anyone else who would understand how I feel."

"I'm the only one that's recently been dumped, it's understandable."

Her words hit Rachel in the chest, she sounds so sad. "I'm so sorry Quinn." She reaches out and puts a hand on Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn tenses under such an unexpected gesture. "Could you not? Just tell me what you want to tell me already."

Rachel pulls her hand back as if she'd been burned. She can't say it doesn't hurt that Quinn hates her so much now that she doesn't want her to touch her. It's not like she ever allowed her to before, but her tone says it all, she wants nothing to do with her now. She wouldn't blame Quinn for laughing in her face about Finn breaking up with her, she deserves it.

"Um, he wanted to have…he wanted to go all the way, and I said no, so he wanted to go on a break for the rest of the summer. I couldn't believe it, Finn isn't usually that pig-headed, or at least I didn't think so."

Quinn turns over after hearing that, she knows all too well what it feels like having to say no to her boyfriends asking for sex. She looks up at Rachel's profile, the girl is beautiful, and Finn is an ass for breaking up with her over sex. Rachel deserves someone that will wait a thousand years for her.

"From my experience, even the nicest boys can be asses when it comes to sex. Finn was an ass today, he'll realize that though, he'll probably call you tomorrow to apologize. If he really loves you, he'll continue to wait like before."

"That's the problem, I know he loves me. I'm just not ready yet."

"And that's okay." Quinn sits up and scoots back against her headboard.

Rachel looks back at Quinn, her eyes are slightly red as if she'd been crying, or is she high like she suspected? And what-she has a nose ring! That's what she was hiding?

Judging by Rachel's face, she notices the nose ring, but Quinn cannot dwell on it now, she wants to be here for Rachel.

"Is it? Is it really okay for me to tell him I love him and only feel it sometimes?" She covers her mouth with her hand, she didn't mean to say that. Now Quinn knows how horrible she is.

She had loved Finn before when they were together, or she thought so. But after the whole Santana/Puck cheating thing, she felt herself fall further and further away from him over time. She only took him back because he tried so hard to get her back, she even dismissed his asinine behavior while he was with Quinn.

Quinn stares at Rachel with her hand over her mouth. She cannot take this, she wants to tell Rachel so much, but she can't because she's an idiot, and she doesn't deserve the chance right now.

"Rachel- Are you okay?"

Rachel lets her hand fall and she looks back at Quinn to catch her staring intently at her. They lock eyes, and Rachel doesn't know what this is exactly that she's feeling here.

Quinn knows that she's been drinking, but either Rachel's moving forward or she's getting a delayed reaction to the booze she consumed over two hours ago.

She looks down and sees Rachel's hand come up to rest on the headboard next to her head. No, she couldn't be doing this. This is so wrong, she has to move, Rachel doesn't want to do this, she just doesn't know it right now.

Rachel pauses, then she surges forward, connecting their lips. The kiss is soft, gentle and it sends a chill down Quinn's spine, she jumps up off the bed.

"Whoa! Hey! W-what are you doing? Y-you can't…We can't. Uh, you don't know what you're doing Rachel." Quinn is shaking, that kiss was amazing, but she cannot do this right now. It's too weird. Rachel just broke up with her boyfriend, and she…she just did something so heinous she fears Rachel will never forgive her if she finds out.

Rachel takes a breath with her face buried in Quinn's pillow. She knows that was a mistake but she doesn't regret it. This night will probably remain unforgettable for many unpleasant and pleasant reasons. She lifts her head from the pillow.

"I'm sorry, I just…" Rachel doesn't even know why she just tried to kiss Quinn. It was as if she couldn't help herself, Quinn looked so sympathetic for her.

"It's okay, it was a mistake. You're feeling vulnerable from Finn, and y-you made a simple mistake, right?"

Rachel swallows thickly before she nods minutely. That has to be it, Quinn's right, she's just vulnerable right now. It's probably why she feels so hurt by the rejection as well.

"I-I should probably go to bed now."

"Okay," Quinn replies quickly as she watches Rachel walk out of her room before letting out a heavy sigh. Did that really just happen?

She slowly lifts up her comforter before slipping underneath her sheet. Her mind is reeling, Rachel can't be into her. It had to be a fluke of some kind.

'Maybe she was just trying to get a closer look at her nose ring, yeah, that's probably it!'

That wasn't it at all. Rachel just kissed her and she ran away from her. What does this mean for them?

Rachel tugs at the bottom of her hair nervously, she cannot believe she just did that. Her eyes tear up as she approaches the bed. Is it inappropriate to cry over this and not over the fact that Finn broke up with her today?

She lies her head down on the pillow as the tears flow freely from her eyes.

* * *

Quinn rolls over, grabs the pill bottle from her nightstand, and tries to open it, but her head hurts, and she ends up dropping it on the floor.

"Shit!" She reaches for it, but it must have rolled under her bed. She lets herself slide off of the bed onto the floor to look for the bottle of pain killers.

When she finds them, she remembers that she has to go downstairs to get a bottle of water to take them with. She reluctantly pulls herself to her feet and heads downstairs.

Rachel stretches after she wakes up from her few hours of sleep. She is too afraid to face Quinn today, she kissed her last night for heaven's sake! Add the fact that Quinn was a little under the influence when she rejected her, and she is more than embarrassed, she's hurt.

Rachel goes to get dressed, she could go downstairs and call her daddy to pick her up. She'll call Quinn later to tell her she had to go to her singing lessons or something.

She pads softly down the stairs after wandering around a little, checking out the beautiful landing and lingering on pictures of Quinn as a child with her family. She goes from frame to frame, every picture of Quinn, she looks much like she does now. That's weird.

"Hey, you're up early."

Rachel almost jumps out of her skin, "Quinn, you scared me. What are you doing up this early yourself?" She cannot even bring herself to look at Quinn directly.

"I came down to get some water," Quinn looks at Rachel, she's fully dressed and she has her phone out. "Were you about to go? I could take you home right now if you'd like."

"Oh, um, that's alright Quinn. I don't want to have you going out of your way for me."

"No, it's okay. I want to." Quinn hopes Rachel isn't angry at her for last night. She just couldn't bring herself to let Rachel kiss her after what she had just done. Also, Rachel had just broken up with Finn. Sure, she basically said she didn't love him all that much, but she herself felt the same when she was with him and they stayed together for a while.

"Okay," Rachel is surprised by how weak her voice is right now, she might actually need to go to her vocal coach today after all.

Quinn swallows down one pill with a few sips of water. She goes to get her keys as well as her coat before leading Rachel out to her car.

The minute the doors are shut, Rachel shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat as the distinct smell of cigarette smoke overcomes her. "Do you…smoke?"

"Sometimes," Quinn replies offhandedly.

Rachel frowns, there is so much about Quinn that she doesn't know. She doesn't know why some people smoke, but Quinn must have her reasons. She's puzzled at the fact that she feels she's entitled to know those reasons. Especially after her little discovery in those picture frames in there.

Quinn turns onto the main street heading towards Rachel's house. She glances over at her once, and she is facing the window.

"Rachel,"

"Yes,"

"Hey, about last night…"

Rachel can feel her heart begin to race, she wishes she could melt into a puddle right now. "Wh-what about it?"

"I…just want to say, that I-I'm sorry if I made you feel bad or anything. It was late, I had been drinking,"

"You make it seem as if you were the one that kissed me. Quinn, you had every right to reject me. I wasn't thinking, I must have gotten caught up in a moment of…I don't know. But I should be the one apologizing, you were inebriated and I would have been taking advantage of you."

She wouldn't have, but Quinn can't tell her that right now. She turns onto Rachel's street and parks her car next to the curb in front of her house.

"So I guess there's no hard feelings?"

"Right, no hard feelings, yeah." Rachel nods her agreement to ensure Quinn that she will forget about this whole thing. Even though she probably won't.

Quinn smiles a somber smile, she has to remind herself to time things right. She has to let Rachel figure out things with Finn first before even hinting at wanting to be with her.

"Well, maybe we can hang out sometime this summer? If not, I guess I'll see you at school in September." Quinn wonders why she sounds so empty to herself. Rachel doesn't seem to notice, so she smiles before opening the car door and stepping out.

"Yeah, maybe we can sometime." Rachel gives her a cheerful smile, even though she doesn't feel Quinn will follow through with it.


	2. Surreal (Part II)

Surreal (Part II)

It's close to Finn's deadline for rekindling their relationship, so Rachel decides to call him. She had spent the rest of the summer thinking everything over.

The fact that Quinn had ignored all of her phone calls has made this much easier for her. She obviously had a problem with the kiss, otherwise she wouldn't have acted this way. Rachel has had to come to terms with the fact that Quinn may not be open to being with a girl and even if she were, she could be with any other girl in the world.

'I'm the one who doesn't have a choice. Finn says he loves me, I can make that work.'

So she'll give things another try with Finn. This time she has plans to open her eyes a little more to try and see the best in him. Maybe she'll start to share his love soon, and he'll want to stay with her.

It's a terrible way to think of a relationship, she knows you shouldn't have to work so hard at loving someone. It should just be.

"Finn, I don't know if you're home, but I'm coming over today. I want to talk to you, and I know you'll be happy with the outcome. See you in a bit, bye." She presses the button to leave the message. He usually answers her calls.

She makes her way in her Dad's Jaguar over to Finn's house. Kurt looks surprised to see her and awkwardly wraps her into a brief hug.

"Rachel, what are you doing here? Does Finn know you were coming here today?"

"Yes, I left him a message when he didn't answer my call."

Kurt frowns, "A-are you sure he got it? I mean…" He runs a hand through his hair. "He's such a bonehead. Um…Rachel, there's something you should know."

Rachel narrows her eyes at Kurt, what is he talking about?

Suddenly there's loud laughter coming from their kitchen, a familiar female laugh. She instantly sees red, "No way."

She pushes past Kurt as he tries to block her and bursts through the kitchen door. She almost vomits when she walks in to see Finn with his hands all over Santana up against the kitchen counter.

"Finn! I cannot believe you! Again?"

He jumps back from Santana leaving her leaning against the counter with a smug smirk on her face.

"Whoa, Rachel, what are you doing here? Uh, I-I can explain,"

"Explain what? You obviously had sex with _her_ again while we were supposed to be working on us during our time apart!"

"B-but we took a break. You can't get mad at me for this."

"I can and I will Finn! This is exactly the reason I had a problem with your idea of a 'break', I had a feeling that you just wanted to be able to go out and sow your seeds everywhere. Then you thought that you would get back with me and _I'd_ have sex with you too! Ugh! You suck Finn Hudson and we are never getting back together after this!"

"Are you serious? Come on, she doesn't mean anything to me!"

"Excuse me?" Santana pipes in, and Rachel takes that as her queue to leave.

She spins on her heel and pushes through the kitchen door and straight through to the front door and out of it. She hears Kurt say something about calling her as he holds his phone to his ear, probably already gossiping to Mercedes about this.

The minute she gets into her dad's car, she breaks down behind the steering wheel.

'How could I be so stupid?' She thinks.

He never loved her like she thought he did. If he had, he would have known not to sleep with Santana again after all of the pain it caused her before.

She sucks it up after a minute, wiping at her tears with a tissue from her glove compartment. She starts up the car and pulls off. When she gets to the end of the street she makes a turn, she doesn't know why she does it, but she drives to Quinn's house.

* * *

"Wow! So you finally decided to do it. It looks good on you girl." Mack says as she takes in Quinn's newly dyed hair.

"Yeah, it's called flamingo pink. It isn't permanent, I kind of want it to wash out a little before school starts. I think it'll look more grunge that way."

"Totally,"

Quinn is glad that she has The Mack's approval, she needed to toughen her image up some more, now that she's an official member of The Skanks.

Sure, she had no intention of ever seeing Mack again after their…encounter, but then she ran out of cigarettes, so she had to go back to the Re-Up.

The Mack sold her a pack of cigarettes and asked her stick around. She sat in her car for an hour puffing away before Mack closed up the store and hopped into the passenger seat.

She told Quinn that she didn't have to apologize for anything that happened and that she was mostly shocked that she had made her orgasm on her first try.

Quinn felt relieved and asked her if she had told anyone about it. She said that her secret was safe with her and that she still wanted to be friends. That sparked a few weeks of her hanging out with the Skanks before joining them.

"Ready for Monday?" Mack asks her and she's honestly not sure.

She wants to be ready, but she knows that she is going to see Rachel and Finn back together again and that thought is not appealing at all. She couldn't bear to answer Rachel all of the times she called, probably wanting to talk some more about Finn and how he apologized and she forgave him and all of that crap.

As much as she wants to believe Rachel wanted that kiss with her, the fact remains that she agreed that it was a mistake. It really was a one-time fluke that will probably never happen again.

"I guess so. Anyway, whatever happened to that old guy you were seeing? Is he still trying to skateboard? I think I saw him at the park the other day." Quinn snickers as Mack crosses her arms angrily.

"Hey, Chad was really nice and he bought me things okay."

"Okay, but dating a forty-year old wannabe skateboarder is just asking for fun to be made."

* * *

Quinn isn't home this time as well. But Mrs. Fabray is nice enough to invite her in again.

"You know, I saw one of your fathers in the health food store the other day, Leroy is it?"

"Yes,"

"Well, we got to talking about you girls and he told me that he was there picking up some treats for you. I thought Quinnie might like them too, so I bought some. You do like those soy bars, right?"

Rachel smiles warmly at the fact that Mrs. Fabray knew who her father was and actually talked to him in public. "Yes, I do."

"Would you like one, or are you not staying to wait for Quinn again? I have to tell you, I'm worried about her. The way she's dressing now… do you know the other day she bagged up all of her dresses and tried to throw them out?"

"Really?" Rachel frowns. Quinn is obviously acting out, but why exactly? Was she still angry over Finn or is it something else?

She watches as Mrs. Fabray goes into a closet to retrieve a large black garbage bag filled with Quinn's old dresses.

"You can have them if you want, I'd just hate to see so many pretty dresses go to waste. You might have to have them hemmed, but they'll look nice on you."

"Thank you, but I don't think Quinn will appreciate me wearing her old clothes."

"Nonsense Rachel, she told me she is never going to wear a dress again. Even though I find that hard to believe, she did throw these out."

Rachel finds herself dragging the heavy bag and tossing it into the backseat of her Dad's car. She has to remember never to let Quinn see her in one of those dresses, if she ever wears one.

She gets upstairs to her room and flings herself across her bed, her anger at Finn back in full force now that she's left the kind atmosphere at Quinn's house. Her phone rings and she lifts her head, craning her neck to see who it is without getting up. It's Kurt. She rolls onto her back and reaches up to grab her phone.

"Hello?" She answers gruffly.

"Rachel? Are you okay?"

"What do you think, Kurt? I just caught who I thought was my boyfriend with another girl. No I'm not okay."

"Um, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? For what? You didn't betray me."

"I know, I just…I knew about it and I didn't tell you."

Rachel feels a little more anger bubble up from her chest hearing that, but she decides it isn't Kurt's fault that his step-brother is such an idiot.

"Kurt, I'm not mad at you. I'm angry at myself for lowering my standards like that and hoping that Finn would take me back today. I guess I just needed the security before school started on Monday, so that I wouldn't go back to getting a slushy to the face again."

"So you were going to gravel to Finn because you're afraid to go back to how it was before? I for one can understand the desperate need to fit in, but I don't think you should degrade yourself like that for anyone."

"I know, but this is our senior year, I'd love to be able to walk those halls without fear again."

"Well, if that's what you're worried about, maybe you could do something else to keep them from throwing slushies at you."

"What could that be?"

"You can attract them, as in, dress sexier, maybe even slutty, but it'll only be for show."

"What? Kurt, you just said that I shouldn't degrade myself."

"I know, but as long as you ignore their comments and passes at you, you know, act as if you don't care, then you shouldn't feel bad about that. You wouldn't be doing anything degrading, just expressing a new version of yourself through dress."

Rachel thinks about it, it does sound promising. It could be practice for a future role on a teen drama or something.

"Okay, but you have to help me."

"Already on it."

After Kurt is on his way back home, he's already helped her go shopping for some revealing clothes for the first week of school, she sits in the desk chair in front of her laptop.

She goes online to look for guides on how to act sexier and most of the articles come up with the same lackluster ways to capture male attention. She opens a new tab and types 'sexy girls' into the search bar. She skips over the first few results until she sees a link for a video that says 'Sexy Girl…' and that is all.

She clicks on the link and the rest of the video's title is presented across the top as the video autoplays. 'Sexy Girl Fucks Her Schoolgirl Friend XXX'.

"Oh," She pauses it when she realizes that she accidentally clicked on a pornographic video by mistake. She thinks about closing it down, but then she gets a thought, who better than a porn star to show her how to be sexier? It has to be in their job description or something. Anyway, it's already loaded now and it'd be a shame to waste her modem's time.

There's a girl, she's blonde, she walks into a room, a little over the top with her hips but it was sexy enough. She makes a note of it. Her schoolgirl friend, has dark brown hair, she's dressed in a plaid skirt, so short you can see her underwear. She's slightly shorter than the blonde, this Rachel can see as the sexy girl goes over to start making out with her schoolgirl friend.

This plot makes no sense, but again, it's porn, so she shouldn't have had any expectations on that front. She can feel something happening below her waist as she watches them remove each other's bra-tops. The appearance of two sets of breasts are intriguing, she can feel her own nipples begin to stiffen as they start to suck on one another's.

"So that's how…" Rachel says after the sexy girl slips two fingers inside her schoolgirl friend. She can feel her heart racing as the girls moan and scream as they have sex on a white couch in some mansion. She's glad she decided to plug in her headphones because they are pretty loud. It's a little exaggerated, but they are doing a good job making it sexy.

After the video is over, Rachel cannot help but fantasize about it some more. The image of the sexy girl hovering over her schoolgirl friend intensifies as she pictures herself in place of said schoolgirl. The sexy girl plunging her fingers inside of her instead, her blonde hair falling down, covering her face, and when she looks up again, Rachel's eyes snap open. The sexy girl somehow morphed into Quinn. She then realizes that she has her hand in her pants and…and she was just imagining herself having sex with Quinn. Great, so much for forgetting about her now.

* * *

Quinn takes a drag from what's likely to be her last cigarette until lunch. The first day of school is always the worst, this time, she really doesn't care about what anybody thinks. She just wants to get her schedule and go to class, hoping people don't notice her or even recognize her anymore. She hopes she's changed enough to accomplish that today. She opens her car door, Mack follows suit, 'Here's to hoping.'

She only has four classes this year, thank God. It makes her tense when she sees Glee club on her list of classes. That still doesn't mean she'll be showing up to that class. It has no real impact on her grades anyway.

'Are they serious?' She wants to punch everyone staring at her in the face. It never fails, everyone always seems to notice when she steps out of line.

This time, it's infuriating because she tried so hard to deviate from her 'normal' attire, only for them to notice even more. And what's worse is that some of them have the nerve to cast a pitiful glance in her direction. They're the pitiful ones, constantly worried about her life, instead of minding their own business.

She shakes her head as she opens up her locker, they let her keep her old one. She begins to tear down all of those pictures and cheer stickers, when Mack shows up at her side.

"So, I was thinking, maybe we flirt with the stoners a little, get them to give up the bleachers."

"What?"

"Our hangout, it'll be under the bleachers after we get rid of the stoners that usually hang out there."

"Oh, okay," Quinn begins to agree with Mack, but then there is a huge commotion in the hall as people start talking all at once. They both turn to see what the big deal is.

Rachel tries to make her way through the increasing crowd around her, she tries to hide her smirk from all of the attention she's receiving. Guys are catcalling, and she can hear some girls making snide remarks. Those still sting a little, even though she knows they're just jealous.

She finally makes it to the hall where her locker is and directly across from hers are two grungy looking girls, standing where Quinn's locker used to be. She can't help but be a little disappointed as she nears her own locker, still being hounded by a few boys. She really wanted Quinn to see her in her new outfit, maybe she'd see what she was capable of and want to at least be her friend now.

The Mack furrows her brow at Quinn, "Oh hell no, who does that girl think she is?"

Quinn is shocked seeing Rachel walking around in the skimpiest outfit she has ever seen her in. It's the reason she doesn't have time to stop The Mack from lunging forward a side checking Rachel into the row of lockers.

The people surrounding them start to chant 'Fight!' over and over so Quinn slams her locker shut and grabs Mack to pull her off of Rachel even though she's only standing over her now.

"If anybody asks, you tell 'em you just got hit with a Mack truck baby!"

Some people cheer and give Mack high-fives, Quinn scoffs before dragging her into the nearest bathroom to hide out for a little while. Some teacher may have seen what just happened.

She cannot believe Mack just did that. She had made it clear that their point was to cause minor disruptions, not to actively hurt anyone. Even if she hates the fact that Rachel and Finn are together, she doesn't want to see Rachel injured. She wishes she could've checked on her, she looked back to see Tina and Mike helping her up though.

"What the hell was that? I thought we wanted to get out of this town, how about you try to _not_ get expelled the first day, huh?"

"Hey, she was asking for it in that outfit okay, I couldn't help it. I mean, if she wants to dress like a skank, she damn well better be one."

Quinn runs a hand through her fading pink locks, tapping out a fresh smoke. She takes a puff before passing it over to Mack. Rachel would never want to be a member of the Skanks, she couldn't handle it.

"Well at least the other kids have an idea what we're about and they'll probably hand us the space under the bleachers now." Mack rationalizes.

"I guess so," Quinn sighs as she puts out the butt and exits the bathroom.

* * *

"Are you okay?"

Her arm hurts, and her ankle too.

"Um, yeah, I think so." Rachel looks down at her shoe, her heel is broken. She should've seen it coming and brought along a change of clothes as per usual.

"Don't worry, I carry a pair of flats in my bag for emergencies Rachel. Here,"

Tina hands her a rolled up pair of ballet flats. She smiles kindly and thanks her and Mike profusely before going off to class.

She's late and everyone are already in their seats, but there is only one spot left in the back row next to one of those…wait a minute, "Quinn?"

Rachel slips into the seat next to the former blonde, carefully eyeing her new grunge attire from top to bottom. She knows her mouth is hanging open, but she cannot help it. Quinn looks so…hot.

"Could you stop that?" Quinn grits through her teeth. She keeps her eyes forward, copying the board as assigned.

"Sorry, I'm just…shocked to see you like this."

"Well, get used to it."

'I don't think that's possible, but I'll try.' Rachel thinks.

Rachel goes into her next class, it's Quinn's as well. To her surprise, Quinn allows her to sit next to her in the back row again and no one else seemed to notice or care either.

"I've noticed you limping, are you hurt badly?"

Rachel almost asks Quinn what she's talking about when she remembers that girl running her into the lockers earlier. "Oh, no not really, I kind of tweaked my ankle when my heel broke that's all."

"It won't happen again."

Rachel nods, even though Quinn isn't facing her. She believes her for some reason, she sounds sincere enough.

Their schedules are passed back after the teacher signs them and Rachel sneaks a look at Quinn's, she tilts her head when she sees that their schedules are identical. It makes her feel excited in a way that she cannot explain.

"Hey! Rachel!" Rachel sucks in a deep breath as Finn staggers through the crowd pushing away the freshman boys that have been following her around all day. "Hey, so I guess I deserve this. You, getting all this attention from these guys and stuff."

Rachel rolls her eyes in a huff, slamming her locker door shut before walking off. Finn follows closely behind.

"So, uh, I wanted to say I'm sorry again, you know. But I swear, Santana means nothing to me!"

"And how is that supposed to make me feel? Better? The way you treat women is appalling, especially since you have a single mom."

"What does that have to do with us? Just because you don't have a mom doesn't mean you could bring mine up whenever you're mad at me."

The look on her face must convey the hurt that she feels right now, because Finn's words cut through her like a knife.

"Oh no, I'm sorry, Rach!" He calls after her as she runs into the nearest bathroom before the tears escape her eyes, ruining her makeup in the process.

She presses the folded napkin into the corner of each eye to soak up the tears before they have a chance to run her mascara. That was the last straw, Finn has as much a chance with her now as Jacob Ben Israel. She can't see herself settling with someone who could easily hurt her that deeply when he's trying to get back together with her.

* * *

She walks into the choir room with her head held high, completely ignoring Finn's presence.

"So, how was everyone's summer?" Mr. Schue says with his hands clasped in front of himself as usual.

After twenty minutes, almost everyone is there. Everyone except Quinn.

Rachel shifts uncomfortably in her chair, she knows Quinn is here today, they were in every class together. During free periods she saw her walk off somewhere, probably to smoke because every time she'd come into class, she could smell it on her.

Days go by the same way, Quinn in class all day, only to skip Glee in the end. Finally the rest of the club voice their concern, Rachel doesn't even bother to listen until they provide her with some useful information.

"I heard she's a Skank now," Finn says.

"Finn! That is no way to talk about Quinn!" Rachel yells at him, she cannot believe he would say such a thing.

"No, Rachel, she joined the girl gang called the Skanks is what he means." Tina pipes in.

"Oh,"

"I don't get what the big deal is, can't we just get a new member to replace her? She isn't coming back, me and Brittz already tried talking some sense into that girl."

"Because we can't give up on her when she needs us the most, Santana." Rachel is irritated by the amount of them that agree with Santana on getting a replacement for Quinn. There is no one who can take her place.

"I think all the guys in here can agree with me on not wanting her back. Right guys?" Finn speaks again.

A collective grumbling among the boys in the club causes Rachel to demand to know what their problem is.

"Well, the Skanks decided that it would be funny to put margarine on the floor of the boys locker room. Long story short, there was a pile up and we all agreed that it never happened." Artie explains.

"Dude, you just told!" Puck punches him in the arm for that.

Rachel has to bite her lip to suppress a giggle as the boys all fall silent, avoiding any eye contact.

"So that's it? You all hate her now?"

"No, not all of us, some of us simply don't care." Kurt says.

It seems as if no one really cares about Quinn, even her supposed best friends seem to have given up on her. She doesn't know what Kurt's problem is. All she knows is that it feels cold and empty here without her and she'll do anything to get her back.

"Well I still do, does anybody know where I could find her?"

* * *

'God my feet are killing me.' Quinn thinks as she lights up another smoke during her free fifth period.

"I think they're starting to get it Quinn, tagging our work has been your best idea yet." Ronnie says as she rolls up her cigarette.

"We aren't done, we still have to get our hands on some fire extinguishers for our next prank." Mack says.

"I'm on it." Quinn blows a puff of smoke up into the air as she leans against the cool metal post.

"Quinn?"

'Oh no,'

She turns around and automatically regrets it. Rachel's standing there, eyes full of hope, begging her to return to Glee. If Mack goes near her she'll take her down, but she's glad it's an empty threat.

No matter what Rachel says right now, she won't be going back to see her canoodling with her boyfriend in front of everyone. Nothing is worth the pain of watching him with his hands all over Rachel all the time. The only way she'll go back is if Finn quits and she knows that's never going to happen.

'Whenever you're ready, she says.' Quinn laughs humorlessly.

"Hey! That was _the_ Rachel? Quinn, why didn't you stop me before I checked her Monday?" Mack gets up in Quinn's face.

"It was too late." Quinn flicks her ash.

"You didn't even say anything after."

Quinn lifts an eyebrow, "Your point is?"

"Um, you're in love with the girl, start acting like it." Mack says lowly.

Quinn angrily stomps out her cigarette as she glares at Mack for outing her in front of Ronnie and Sheila. They may not have heard it, but the principle still stands. She runs off and finds herself watching Rachel perform a song with Finn and the rest of the Glee club.

Why can't she just let it go? She made her choice and she shouldn't have to suffer for it. Just watching them singing happily together without her is enough to confirm that she made the right decision.

* * *

It's pretty easy picking the lock on the storage garage behind the gym. Quinn gets inside and instantly finds what she's been looking for. She effortlessly hoists up two of the large fire extinguishers and starts to make her way out.

"What are you- You're stealing now?"

"Oh my God, are you stalking me now Rachel?"

"No, I just saw you come back here and I was just curious, but stealing? You can get into a lot of trouble for this Quinn."

"Not unless you tell, and if you do…" Quinn trails off because she doesn't know what she'll do if Rachel tells on her.

"Stop, Quinn, put those back!" Rachel demands as she places a hand on Quinn's bicep to push her back. She swallows thickly at the firmness under her fingertips, her arms are so toned.

Quinn sets the two canisters down, removing Rachel's hand from her arm and gripping onto it tightly, "What the hell is your problem? Why do you care so much? Give it up Rachel! Go back to Finn and Leave. Me. Alone!"

She's shaking now, whether it's from anger or nervousness she doesn't know, but she just wants to get out of here and as far away from Rachel as she can be.

"Uh, Quinn you're hurting me." Rachel's voice wavers with fear and a little arousal.

"Am I? You hurt me first. Now go away!" She lets Rachel loose and she stumbles backward slightly before stepping in front of Quinn again.

'What the hell does that mean? How did I hurt her? Is this about Finn again?' Rachel wonders as Quinn tries to get past her again.

'Why won't she back down?' Quinn wonders as she rolls her eyes.

"What do you mean, I hurt you first?" Rachel demands an honest answer, because if Quinn really is hurt over him she'll let her know that he's fair game now.

'You cannot answer that. Just drop the cans and go!'

"You grabbed my arm first, so…" Quinn bluffs.

'What was that look on her face? She's lying, I have to make her tell me the truth, what if I'm not alone in what I'm feeling?' Rachel keeps on her, she cannot let her get away when she's so close.

"We both know I didn't hurt you then, so what did you really mean?"

This is getting out of hand, especially now that Quinn has to resort to begging Rachel to leave. "Please, Rachel just get out of here before we both are suspended."

"No, not until you tell me what you meant by that."

Quinn can't handle this right now, she was this close to making a clean break until Rachel butted in. "Move!" She really doesn't want to hurt her, but she's leaving her no choice.

"No!"

"Alright," Quinn grabs her, forcing her face first into the cold hard metal of the storage room wall. She has Rachel's wrist on her grip, her arm twisted behind her in arrest position.

"Ah!" Rachel shudders at the feeling of Quinn's heavy breathing directly in her ear.

"Rachel, this is your last warning," She licks her lips, Rachel smells really nice and her neck looks so soft. "Y-you better get out of here and go stalk your boyfriend or something."

Quinn's thigh is pressed deliciously into her behind and it's causing her brain to misfire a few times before she can think of anything to say.

"Um, uh, I-I broke up with Finn. For good, right before school. I thought you would have heard by now, but I-I'm single Quinn." Rachel manages to get out. Instantly, her arm is freed and she's spun around.

Quinn searches her eyes before whispering, "I'm so sorry," with a look of remorse that has Rachel's immediate forgiveness.

She pulls Quinn down by the neck connecting their lips in a feverish display of wanton desire for one another. It lasts for minutes, Quinn has her pressed up against the wall of the broken into garage, hands wandering all over each other's bodies. She knows she'll have at least one love bite from this and she's pretty sure she's left a few on Quinn as well.

'This is better than I ever imagined.' Quinn thinks as she runs her tongue up a path along the side of Rachel's neck. She cannot believe this is happening, she didn't even have to tell Rachel she liked her, she just _knew_.

This has to mean something to Rachel, she can feel it in the urgency of her kiss. But what does it mean, are they going to be together now?

She pulls back to face Rachel, making as much space between them as possible to try to hold onto what little dignity she has left, she was seconds from dropping to her knees and worshiping the girl.

"Uh, I'll come back to Glee, but only if you join the Skanks."

"What? Why? You know I don't agree with the antics of your little gang."

"Rachel," Quinn growls. "If we're going to _be_ together, you're going to need the protection. No one will mess with you if you're with us, understand?"

Rachel swallows, she smiles widely at the fact that Quinn just said that she wants to be with her and that she wants to protect her. "Do I have to participate in anything illegal? And what about the way I dress?"

"Your clothes are fine, in fact, you look a lot better this year. I even used to have a dress like that. And no, nothing illegal after this, I promise, now help me get these things out of here before someone catches us."

Rachel picks up one of the extinguishers and struggles to keep up with Quinn as they make their getaway. "You know, this is actually one of your old dresses. Your mother gave them to me."

Quinn does a double-take, knowing that Rachel is in her actual clothes is making her want to rip it right off of her. She had no idea something like that would turn her on so much. "What? When did she do that?"

"I stopped by your house and she let me in, we started talking and she told me that she was worried about you."

"Right," Quinn clicks her tongue in mild annoyance, Rachel has no idea what she's talking about, Judy only cares that the neighbors are talking about her again.

Rachel has to remind herself that Quinn's relationship with her mother is probably strained and she regrets bringing it up so soon. She'd hate for what happened with Finn to repeat itself with Quinn. She doesn't know if she'll be able to handle it if Quinn throws a jab at her about not having a mother too.

"Well, I for one am thankful that you had this whole wardrobe change, it benefits me in more ways than one."

"Oh really? How's that?"

"First, I got all of your pretty dresses and secondly, you look really sexy in those clothes."

Quinn can feel herself blush at Rachel's admittance, not one person has called her sexy in these clothes. Her intent was to make herself as unattractive to everyone as possible. It worked for the most part, everyone seemed to disprove of her change, everyone except Rachel.

"You think I'm sexy? In this?"

"Uh huh, that top, that skirt, and those fishnets…" Rachel hangs her head bashfully to hide her blush as she drags the canister under the bleachers where the rest of the Skanks are waiting.

"Good, there you are. We thought you got snapped Quinn. What's she doing here?" Sheila asks and the others have the same questioning expressions on their faces.

After a short argument, Rachel is now the newest member of the Skanks. Now that Quinn delivered the goods, Mack takes over and she leaves with Rachel to go to their last class together.

"So that's it? I'm in?" Rachel asks as they retrieve their books from their lockers.

"Yep." Quinn replies as she spins around to face Rachel.

"C-can we hold hands?"

"Sure," Quinn looks down as she slips her hand into Rachel's. They fit so well together, as she remembers from those fleeting moments in the past when they'd end up hand in hand.

"How do you like it?" Rachel looks over at Quinn to find her looking a little dazed.

"It's nice," Quinn whispers. She tugs on Rachel's hand to pull her closer so that she can place a soft kiss on her lips.

Rachel basks in the sweetness of it, keeping her eyes closed. "What was that for?"

"That was our official kiss as girlfriends. We are, aren't we?"

Rachel nods fiercely, "Definitely, I wouldn't do what we just did back there with anybody."

"Good, I sure hope not." Quinn takes a deep breath as she thinks about what happens after this. "I know we're probably going to get a lot of crap for this, but I've kind of stopped caring about everybody in this stupid school. Also, I'm not above fighting back if they want to try anything with us, we have a gang now anyway."

"Quinn, I'm okay keeping under the radar for a while. I don't want to cause any unwanted trauma for us while we're so new. So maybe we should stay quiet for now."

"Cool, anyway you want to play it, I'm game."

Rachel's smile is beginning to hurt her cheeks, she's just so happy. "This is unreal, look how easy it was for us to work things out. How come it took us so long?"

Quinn shrugs, she has no clue, they release each other's hand as they near the classroom. They sit through their final class for the day and then head over to Glee club afterschool in the nearly empty halls.

Rachel has an idea to come in late as to make an entrance together. She wants to make everyone eat their words when they see that she was the one to convince Quinn to return to Glee.

"What should we do in the mean time?" Quinn asks, she already can tell Rachel's answer as she leads them into the girls bathroom.

Quinn checks the stalls, finding them all empty.

Rachel watches intently from her spot against the sink as Quinn turns around and moves closer to her. She bites her lip as her eyes stay glued to Quinn's bare midriff until she hears her clear her throat.

"Oh, sorry," Rachel quickly averts her eyes, she mentally chastises herself for openly ogling Quinn like that.

Quinn chuckles, Rachel has never been this flustered in front of her. It's endearing. "It's okay, I don't mind you staring. But I have to admit, I'd much rather have your hands on me right now. We've got like ten minutes."

That's all it took for Rachel to push off the sink and throw herself into Quinn's arms. Her hands are up around her neck, her fingertips playing in Neapolitan colored strands as they make out in the bathroom before Glee club.

* * *

The sound of Mr. Schue's voice rings out into the hallway as they approach the choir room. Rachel looks back at Quinn, who seems to be lagging behind.

"Come on, no one's going to say anything. Only some of them are mad about those pranks the Skanks were pulling."

Quinn smirks as she thinks about the boys locker room one, the entire football team confronted them about it. They ended up leaving with the fear of more torture and their tails between their legs when Mack got through with them.

She takes a deep breath, "Let's do this."

The amount of gaping mouths in the room has Quinn believing that they've all seen a ghost. She starts to make her way towards the back row, where she usually sits, but she feels herself being held in place at the front.

"What is this? Are you really back Quinn?" Mr. Schue asks.

"That's correct Mr. Schue, fellow Glee club members, Quinn is officially back thanks to yours truly. I hope you all can find it inside to welcome her back with open arms."

"That's great! Good job Rachel! Quinn, glad to have you back, hopefully you can stay committed because I really think we have a chance to win Nationals this year."

Quinn rolls her eyes at Mr. Schue's unnecessary enthusiasm this early in the year. As she walks by, Rachel pulls her hand, guiding her to sit next to her in the front row. She doesn't miss the narrowing of Santana's eyes as she watches them.

Rachel can feel Finn's eyes on her and she folds her hands in her lap. She would really love to see his face if she were to hold Quinn's hand in front of everyone, but she knows it's too soon for that.

"I can't believe you got her to come back." He whispers harshly. She clears her throat loudly, completely ignoring him.

The lesson goes on, with Rachel performing a rendition of that annoying Rihanna song, making it sound much better than the original of course.

* * *

"Hello Judy," Rachel chirps as she walks into Quinn's house. She's becoming a regular fixture at the Fabray residence. Her relationship with Mrs. Fabray is flourishing, despite Quinn's protests.

"You don't have to talk to her, you know." Quinn says as she shuts her bedroom door.

"I know that, but I want to. As hard as it is for you to believe, I actually like your mom, she's nice to me."

Quinn scoffs, "You just weren't here when Punch and Judy were still together, you'd be singing a different tune then."

Rachel frowns, she has no idea what Quinn is talking about. "Who is Punch?"

"It's a little inside joke I have with myself. It's from a song but, Punch and Judy were the names of these little medieval marionettes. Punch was an abusive husband and father in the puppet shows. They even based the Simpsons on the same dynamic."

"Quinn, your father abused you?" Rachel hopes it isn't true, though it would make a whole lot of sense.

"Not exactly, that's why I said it was a joke."

"Okay,"

She swallows down any further questions on the sensitive topic and decides to steer the conversation elsewhere.

"So…when are you going to take me along with you to hang with the Skanks?"

Quinn has been dodging this for the entire two weeks they've been together. As much as she loves Rachel, she just cannot see her fitting in with the Skanks on a hanging out basis. They smoke, drink, get loud and do other things that'll have Rachel running scared the minute she gets a glimpse.

"Uh, never. They really aren't your type of people Rachel, you'd be shocked to see some of the stuff they do."

"Don't you do that stuff too? Come on, if you can hang with them, so can I." Rachel pouts as she crosses her arms across her chest. Can't Quinn see that she just wants to feel included?

"Rachel," Quinn pulls her girlfriend down to sit next to her on her bed. "Later on, we're meeting at Ronnie's house, you can come with me. Then you'll see once and for all that you don't fit in with this lifestyle. I only had you join the Skanks for protection."

"I love how you want to protect me, but no one's tried to do anything to me so far, aside from the first day Mack attack."

"I'm still really sorry about that. I had no idea she was going to do that to you. She was really pissed at me when she found out who you were, she knew that I liked you." Quinn nudges Rachel with her shoulder.

She leans forward to capture her lips in a sweet kiss, soon after, they find themselves horizontal on top of Quinn's bed.

"Hey, my mom's home," Quinn says as she sits back up.

"So?"

"Uh, she could catch us?"

"So what if she does? You know, I think you're being presumptuous about your mother's reaction to us. She may be more accepting than you think."

"Yeah right, as much as you think you do, you don't know her Rachel. She went along with everything my father said, including his views on gay people. Just because she's friends with your dad doesn't mean she'll want that for her daughter, okay."

She thinks about how Mrs. Fabray still drinks her ex-husband's favorite scotch. There are probably a few other hang-ups that she's held onto over the years as well. "I get it. You're probably right, but I think you should talk to your mom sometimes, she tells some really cute stories about you as a child."

"What has she been telling you? Don't believe a word that comes out of that woman's mouth." Quinn stands from her bed and goes over to her vanity. She starts shuffling through her things aimlessly, slamming drawers and knocking things over.

"Quinn, calm down, as I said, I really enjoy your mother's company. I just wish you could join us on some of our weekly trips to the salon or when we have brunch."

Quinn scoffs at the fact that Rachel is actually enjoying spending quality time with Judy for Christ's sake. It kind of bothers her that her mom is even going out of her way to do things with Rachel that she should be doing with her. She wonders what her angle is.


	3. Good to Go

A/N: So, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter, the next ones will have Beth actually in them. It's just how this story happened.

* * *

Good to Go

Rachel bounces in the passenger seat of her Dad's Jaguar as she lets Quinn drive them over to Ronnie's house for her first hangout with the Skanks. She cannot contain the excitement she feels now that Quinn is letting her come along to see just what they get up to together.

"I don't know what you're so excited for, we're headed to the trailer park Rachel."

Rachel looks out her window then, she knew that they were in Lima Heights Adjacent the minute they crossed the railroad tracks, but the trailer park is a place she's never even been to before. She hates feeling this way, but she hopes nothing happens to her Dad's car while they're there.

They pull into the trailer park, everything is so crowded, one could practically touch two houses by standing in between them. Her Dad's car comes to a stop in front of a white one with green stripes, Rachel had always wondered why they call them trailers, when they are just small houses.

"Here we are," Quinn parks on the grass next to Ronnie's house and gets out of the car. She hopes that they don't embarrass her in front of Rachel. Then again, she kind of wants Rachel to hate them so that she never wants to hang around them again.

"This is nicer than you made it seem."

'Today is going to be a long day.'

* * *

"What's up, Quinn. Who's this little lady?" Ronnie's older brother greets them at the front door as he makes his way out. Quinn doesn't like the way he's staring at Rachel.

"She's Rachel, my girlfriend." She makes sure he heard her as she eyes him before leading Rachel to the back patio where they usually hang out.

"She's cute." He calls over his shoulder and Quinn tightens her grip on Rachel's arm.

Rachel blushes as she passes the man, he looks almost exactly like Ronnie except for the beard. Quinn yanks on her arm taking her through a hallway and out a backdoor into a patio.

Her eyes dart around, there is junk everywhere. She waves hello to Ronnie, Sheila and The Mack, all lounging on various pieces of ragged old furniture in the crowded space.

Quinn can see it on Rachel's face how disgusted she is, it's pretty funny. She hides her smirk, reaching into one of the old big gulp cups to fish out a lighter as she grabs a cigarette from the table that doubles as a footrest for them.

"You can sit anywhere," Ronnie tells Rachel.

She looks around thinking, 'Where?' There are literally stacks of magazines all over, empty beer cans everywhere, cigarette butts on the table and all sorts of garbage littering the floor.

When she sees Quinn go over to a bench and kick off some of the trash to clear a space, she goes over to join her. She starts coughing when Quinn begins puffing away as if she weren't there.

"Do you have to smoke?"

"It's what I always do. You knew that already coming here."

"So what brings little Miss Go-Go here today?" Sheila asks, and the rest of them giggle.

Rachel feels slightly affronted, "As a member of the Skanks I have every right to attend your…meetings."

They all burst out laughing. Quinn glares at them and they all stop immediately.

"Sorry Quinn, but your girl has to loosen up if she's gonna hang out with us." Mack says.

Quinn shakes her head, as if that will ever happen. Rachel is just not going to fit in with them and the sooner she finds that out the better. She takes another drag and turns her head to make sure not to blow the smoke directly in Rachel's face, but it's inevitable that she's inhaling the second-hand smoke anyway.

"Now that the gangs all here, I got you guys some goodies." Ronnie's younger brother Jay steps out of the house and empties out a bag onto the already cluttered table.

Rachel's eyes go wide when she sees just what he poured out of that bag. There are several baggies of pills and what looks to be marijuana in a few of them. He's looks like he's fourteen or fifteen years old, what is he doing with that stuff?

"Aw yeah, baby bro's steppin' up! Looks like you're making some real cash now, giving out freebies to your sisters friends like this." Mack says as she picks up a baggie of weed.

She takes a blunt out of the front pocket of her jean jacket and commences rolling the weed into it. After she's finished, she hands it over to Quinn before starting all over again on another.

"Quinn, you cannot possibly be thinking of smoking that." Rachel frowns at Quinn, placing a hand on her arm as if that will stop her.

Quinn rolls her eyes, she didn't plan on doing any drugs in front of Rachel. Sure she's smoked a little weed with them before but these pills are a new thing. Maybe this will show Rachel once and for all that these just aren't her type of people.

"Why not?" Quinn takes out her lighter as she brings the blunt up to her lips.

"It's illegal. And I cannot even begin to tell you about the dangers of taking unknown prescription drugs in combination with alcohol."

They all start laughing at Rachel again but she doesn't care. Under-age drinking and smoking is illegal, but the punishment is not as serious as if they're caught with any of those drugs lying there on the table.

"Is she serious? Does she not know you at all Quinn?" Ronnie slaps Sheila on the arm and they erupt in another bout of laughter.

Quinn looks over to Rachel, the pleading look in her eyes has her setting the blunt down on the table. "It's not like I planned this, plus I'm not even drinking."

Rachel snorts as she turns away to look out of the patio screen. She knows that Quinn had to have smoked the marijuana with them before. She suspected it that night she broke up with Finn.

"Whoa, don't start acting like a prude now that your girlfriend is here. Light that shit up Quinn, you know you want to." Mack takes a puff of her own blunt.

"This shit is good too." She passes it over to Ronnie, who takes a puff before passing it over to Sheila.

It does smell good, but Quinn can't in front of Rachel, she kind of promised her no more illegal stuff. Even though she only meant it as far as their pranks go.

"I'm good." She says simply, because it's not like she's addicted to it or anything, she can say no to drugs sometimes. Especially with Rachel staring down her throat.

* * *

Halfway through the blunt, the Skanks get into a series of odd and somewhat pointless conversations about all sorts of subjects that don't have anything to do with each other. Rachel has heard that people high on marijuana tend to do this a lot.

This is so uncomfortable, but she can't let Quinn be right about this. She has to stick it out and try to accept them as long as she's a part of this gang.

A lull in the idiotic conversation happens when Sheila and Ronnie go into the house to retrieve some snacks.

"Beer?" Ronnie offers.

Quinn and Rachel both shake their heads. "Come on Quinn, you two are ruining our buzz." Ronnie pulls back the can and pops it open for herself before plopping back down on the couch.

Sheila comes out of the house with a few bags of chips and other snacks, tossing one to Mack, who doesn't even flinch when it lands on her lap.

As Ronnie lights up the blunt that Quinn refused to smoke, Rachel notices that the flame of her lighter looks extremely vivid. She turns to look at Quinn, she leans back into a similar position as The Mack. She can hear her heart beating.

She turns back to face Ronnie and Sheila, the crunching of the potato chip bag is grating on her nerves. She blinks to clear her sight when she notices that they seem to be leaning at an angle. In fact, everything is leaning! Her heart rate increases, pulsing in her ears and she begins to hyperventilate.

'Oh my God! I'm high off the second-hand smoke! What do I do? I have to get out of here!'

"Quinn! Get up! I am high!" Rachel screams, she's panicking and she can't seem to calm down.

"Whoa, could you tone it down a notch? You're really loud." Mack mumbles.

"No, I cannot! You guys got me high off of your smoke! I can't believe I didn't think about this, how is this happening?" She turns to look through the patio screen again. "I thought because we were basically outside that the air would…whoa." She stops because she suddenly feels really dizzy.

"Rachel, sit back down." Quinn tugs at her arm to guide her back to her seat before she falls over. "It's gonna be okay, it'll wear off in a little while."

"But how long? I need to get my Dad's car home, since when did it get so dark? We have to leave now Quinn and I can't go home high, my Dads will kill me. I can see it now, I'm going to be grounded and I'll never be able to see you again. I can't believe this!" Rachel is borderline hysterical at this point and all she wants is to be somewhere safe while she's like this.

"Alright, could you shut her up? She's going to wake my Dad. Here, give her one of these to even her out." Ronnie shakes out a couple of pills and hands them to Quinn.

Quinn is starting to panic because Rachel's panicking and she doesn't know what to do. Obviously she is also being affected by the weed smoke because she feels sluggish. She has no idea what the pills are or what they'll do, so she decides to take one along with Rachel.

"No, no more drugs!" Rachel yells.

"Just take it. Ronnie says it'll help. Here, I'll take one two, okay?" Rachel looks apprehensive but she takes one of the pills anyway. "Come on, let's get you home now." Quinn grabs Rachel around the waist and leads her back through the house.

"Quinn, what did we just take? Is it really going to help? Ugh, how is this fun for you?"

"Who said I was having fun?" Quinn groans.

Rachel is so furious with Quinn right now, she had no idea hanging out meant drug usage. Ronnie was right, she really doesn't know Quinn as well as she thought she did.

"Please, don't crash my Dad's car Quinn. I don't want to die on top of being grounded for life."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Nothing makes sense anymore!"

"Rachel, calm down. It was only a little weed smoke. Jeez."

"I have never done a drug in my life and I never planned to, all I wanted was to spend a little time with you and your friends and look what happened. It turns out you were right, I don't fit in with them."

"I tried to tell you,"

"But that means that I don't fit in with you either!" Rachel shouts.

Quinn winces, she had never thought about it that way. This is not what she wanted to happen at all, but now it's too late and Rachel sees her for who she really is. She had expected it to happen one day, just a little further down the line.

* * *

Quinn is driving too fast, Rachel feels dizzy and something is happening to her. Her skin feels as if it's vibrating. Rachel rubs at her arms and they feel all tingly. The lights on the street are all becoming one big blur. All she wants to do is make it home in one piece and the way they are tearing through her neighborhood, she feels it's least likely to happen.

Quinn stops the car in front of Rachel's house. "We're here."

Rachel looks out the passenger side window, "Uh, we're on my lawn."

Quinn frowns as she leans forward to look out her own window. "Huh, I guess we are."

"Can't you move it?" If her dads see this, they are definitely going to kill her.

"I don't want to risk driving through your house right now, so let's just wait a few minutes until whatever this is wears off."

"What did we take?"

"I don't know."

"Quinn! This is exactly what I was trying to tell you about those pills, what if we get sick? We don't even know what to tell the hospital."

Quinn runs a hand through her hair as she blows out a shaky breath. Seriously, what did they take? Her skin is ultra sensitive and when Rachel reaches out to touch her arm, it's like electricity shooting through her veins.

Rachel gasps at the sensation and she feels urged to touch Quinn again. She can feel the spark again, it crackles under her fingertips as she smooths her hand up Quinn's arm.

Quinn watches in awe as she can practically see the heat emanating from Rachel's hand. Her entire body quivers in anticipation of what she's about to do next. She turns and slides over the center console until she's in front of Rachel.

She runs her hands up Rachel's smooth bare thighs and it's electrifying as well. She hunkers down to press several kisses to the area garnering a vocal response from her girlfriend.

"God Quinn," Rachel moans. She digs her nails into Quinn's shoulders as she tries to breathe. It's becoming harder to do as Quinn keeps kissing her down there. "Get up here," Rachel demands airily.

The look in her eyes can only be described as primal. Quinn slides in between Rachel's legs and then she reaches down and jerks the lever on the side of the seat. It flings them both backward and the way Quinn presses down into her has Rachel seeing stars.

They are face to face now and Quinn stares down at Rachel, the shine in her eyes suggests her arousal, so she continues on. Her lips make a path down the silky skin of Rachel's throat into the middle of her chest and back up again.

Their breathing becomes more and more labored as they rock together in the passenger seat of Rachel's Dad's car. Rachel grips into Quinn's back as she feels the coil inside of her tightening. A few more strokes and she'll come, she reaches with her tongue and licks the roof of Quinn's mouth causing the girl to actually growl. That does it for her, she lets go and Quinn follows soon after.

Rachel stops moving suddenly and Quinn looks down at her closed eyes.

"Rachel?" Quinn questions as she shakes her a little. She then puts an ear to her chest, her heart is beating pretty fast, but it _is_ beating, so…she guesses that's good?

She goes to lift her head but it feels heavy so she allows her eyes to close as well. Hopefully, they'll wake up before Rachel's fathers come home. If not, they are so screwed.

* * *

Rachel cracks an eye open and the brightness around sears straight through to her brain. She shuts the eye quickly, and tries to sit up but her body is under something and it's too hot. A loud tapping on the window causes Rachel to open her eyes in shock. The windows are all fogged up and Quinn is sleeping on her chest.

"Rachel Barbra Berry! I know you're in there. Open the door right now young lady!"

Quinn's head pops up, 'It's Mr. Berry.'

"Shit Rachel, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't! Just get off of me so that I can get out of here." She snaps.

Quinn gets up and crawls back over to the driver's side without another word.

Rachel shakily reaches for the door handle and carefully steps out of the car. The tears come instantaneously the minute she sees her Dad's disappointed expression. "I'm s-so sorry Daddy, we just…things got out of hand."

"Really, how so? My car is in the middle of the lawn, Rachel! Tell me, what _could_ you have been doing for that to happen."

Quinn takes that as her queue to get out of the car after taking a few minutes to garner the courage to do so. "Mr. Berry, this isn't Rachel's fault."

Leroy Berry shoots her an incredulous look before turning back to his daughter. "And Quinn was driving? You both look to be under the influence, you two could have been killed! Rachel, go to up your room, I'm taking Quinn home and then we are going to have a long discussion about what exactly happened tonight."

Quinn watches as Rachel staggers up to her front door with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She doesn't look back once and Quinn can't help the stab in her chest at the thought of this being it for them.

"Quinn, get in the car." Mr. Berry orders.

She does as she's told and gets into the passenger seat of the Jaguar, shutting the door as gently as possible. The seat is still pushed all the way back and she looks up to see him watching her try to pull the lever to make it upright again. It isn't working, they must have broken it when they were…

"Leave it!" He snaps.

"I-I'm sorry." She squeaks out. There has never been a time when she has felt this nervous in front of someone who isn't even her own parent.

"You understand that you aren't going to be allowed over anymore. It's a consequence of your actions Quinn. We love our daughter very much and you could have gotten yourselves hurt tonight."

"I understand,

"Rachel will be grounded and you probably won't get to see her very much outside of school. Is your mother home? I'd like to speak with her about this…incident. Don't worry about me discussing the nature of you girls' relationship, I just feel she deserves to know about this."

'Shit, I forgot that they were friends that talk now. Maybe she won't do anything.'

Her feet feel like lead as she walks with Mr. Berry up to her front door. She uses her key to get in, "Mom!" Quinn yells.

She's surprised when Judy quickly comes out of the kitchen. "Quinn, what's wrong? Leroy? What happened?" She looks between the two of them with such a fearful expression, Quinn thinks she may actually care a little.

"It's okay now, but I wanted to let you know that Quinn and Rachel were out tonight and they drove my car while under the influence. I came home to find my car parked on the lawn."

"What? I am so sorry about this Leroy. Quinn how could you do such a thing? Apologize to Mr. Berry now!"

Quinn cannot believe that she's acting like a parent for once. She does as her mother tells her to and apologizes to Rachel's dad. After he leaves, Quinn starts to go up the stairs but Judy stops her.

"What do you have to say for yourself? Rachel is a good girl and you just had to take her down with you. Now I've tried talking to you countless times since your little change, but now I think you may need to talk to Pastor Jones this Sunday."

'Oh, no. Anyone but him, he thinks that homosexuality can be treated with therapy.'

"Mom, please, I-I don't want to do that. I swear it won't happen again."

"It better not, otherwise I may have to send you to rehab. I cannot deal with another incident like this Quinn."

"Okay," Quinn says before bolting up the stairs and into her room. As bad as she feels about today, she doesn't feel bad about embarrassing her mother. She knows that the threat of rehab is as empty as her scotch glass on the mantle tonight.

However, Quinn does regret hurting Rachel. If she can't see that she cares about her and would never do something like what happened tonight purposely, then she'll just have to make her understand that. She doesn't know how, but she'll do whatever it takes.

* * *

"Whoa," Are headaches this bad a part of a drug-induced hangover?

Rachel rolls over in her bed to see that it's well past ten in the morning. Scenes from the night before play over in her head, most of it words from both of her fathers.

"…never had to punish you like this…"

"…taught you to make better life choices…"

"…cannot believe this, and Quinn Fabray of all people…"

It stung, that her fathers judged her for being involved with Quinn after all she's told them about her. Maybe it makes sense from a parental point of view taking in consideration the events from last night.

But she doesn't feel that way, at least she didn't before yesterday, she had moved on and forgiven Quinn for her harsh behavior in the past. She definitely didn't hold the fact that she had gotten pregnant in tenth grade against her. Last night was different though, it was the first time that Rachel felt afraid for her life in the presence of Quinn.

She forces herself to get up and go into the bathroom to take a long hot shower. Rachel gasps when she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her eyes have dark circles around them and her cheeks look sunken in, she looks like a...a junkie!

She jumps into the shower to allow the water to wash away the filthiness she feels for getting into that situation yesterday. What makes it worse is that Quinn, her girlfriend, was the cause of her discomfort.

They've been through a lot these past three years, but she had thought that becoming sort of friends and then a lot more than that would have brought out a little more compassion from Quinn.

'She acted as if she wanted me to have a bad time yesterday, even though she agreed to let me come and hang out with them. Is it so bad that I wanted to hang with her and her cool gang of misfits?'

* * *

The rest of the weekend went by with Rachel not answering any of Quinn's incessant calls. She is still angry at her, rightfully so, but she does feel bad for ignoring her. Instead of talking to her, she decides to talk to her today at school.

It's during free fifth period when they meet in the girls room.

"Rachel, why are being like this? Your dads aren't watching you at school, you can at least speak to me during the day."

"I'm sorry," Rachel chews her bottom lip to try and put together what she wants to say. "As much as I'd hate to say this,"

Quinn can feel the alarm wash over her at hearing those words. Her heart feels like it's in her throat as she croaks out, "No! You can't do this me Rachel!"

Rachel jumps at Quinn's sudden outburst. "Um, I-I just can't…_be_ with someone who…who frightens me like that."

"Rachel," Quinn says more gently, she didn't miss the way Rachel flinched when she yelled. It's official, she's turned into her father. "I don't know how to fix this. Tell me what to do and you know I'll do it."

"I think that," Rachel has to swallow down her tears because this is really it. Their relationship, as quickly as it came about, is about to end. Now it isn't the end, she will allow Quinn some time to straighten things out before even attempting to delve back in again. "You need to fix some things about the way you're handling your pain. I can't stand to see you hurting yourself this way anymore. I thought that I could but, this weekend proved that it was just too much."

"But I," She shouldn't say it now, "I _care_ about you Rachel."

"Oh I know, and I care about you too Quinn, that's why I want you to get the help that you need. Whether it be on your own, which, you have my full support, or you can seek some treatment, from anywhere you feel comfortable. So do you think that is something you'd be willing to do?"

"I don't know, I mean, I've already lost you now. What's there to look forward to? I'm back at square one here Rachel, pretty much where I was when this all started,"

"Oh my God, you don't get it at all do you? You have no idea how much it hurts to watch you spiral out of control and just stand there like nothing's wrong. Please, I am begging you, make a change, not for me, but for yourself."

Quinn turns to face the mirror over one of the sinks, 'Why can't things just go back to the way they were before Saturday?' She tilts her head back as if the solution will fall from the sky.

"I never deserved you anyway," Quinn snorts.

"I knew that one day you would see that I wasn't all that pretty on the inside and you would leave me just like the rest of them."

"Quinn,"

"No, I get it, it's what happens to girls like me. People objectify me to the point where they are shocked to find out that I'm a real girl underneath the façade. I'm not perfect Rachel, I have flaws and I admit that, I've done some really messed up things in the past." She turns from the sink to take Rachel by the hand.

"But I need you to know that I won't give up on trying with you. I can't go back to the way things were between us. Why can't we still be together like before? It was good, right?"

"It was, but…we hardly ever talked about anything real between us. We kind of just fell into the physical aspects of a relationship without really thinking it through. I'm sorry but what happened on Saturday opened my eyes to the fact that we aren't that close, me and you. I feel we need to take a step backwards, talk things out before acting on them first from now on."

"So that's it, you have all the say-so? What if I don't want to break-up, huh? What do I do? Wallow in it? How do you think that will help me get better?"

"Look, I know this is hard for you, but I never said that I was going anywhere. I'm here for you, whenever you need to talk okay? It's just the romantic part that's over between us."

Quinn slips her arms around Rachel's waist, she doesn't back away, that's good. "I'll miss this, though."

Rachel returns the embrace, "Me too."

They stand there hugging in the girls' bathroom until the bell rings for sixth period.

* * *

After a painful sixth period, it was followed up by an awkward Glee club meeting. Rachel sat in the front row hoping that Quinn would take her usual seat next to her only to see her walk up the risers to sit next to Santana and Brittany.

She flipped her hair, feigning nonchalance at the petty move by Quinn. She was only doing what was best for them. Quinn just has to wake up and realize that.

"You know you need to wake up right?"

"Santana, I already told you I'm done living under a dictatorship. I needed things to change for my mental state, you know, and now I feel free, more like me."

"Are you proud of that little practiced speech? I was talking about you and Rachel, dumbass. You're screwing everything up fucking around with those Skanks. You're going to lose her."

Quinn frowns at the fact that Santana thinks she knows what's going on."Ha! See, you don't get it, I already have."

"No, you lost yourself, she's standing right there waiting for you and you're just going to leave her there? Pretty soon, Finn's gonna swoop in and strike while she's feeling down. And we all know that low self-esteem leads to sexy times with him, so..."

"You _would_ know about that, home wrecker."

"Fuck you, I only slept with him whenever they weren't together. Plus, I was bored this summer anyway since _someone_ decided to fall off the face of the earth."

"Well, I found my niche and I stuck with it."

"At what cost though? Lose all your paper-thin friendships and one of the greatest _things_ that has ever looked twice at you? Like I said, you need to wake up."

Quinn can feel her hand buzzing from the want to slap Santana for even butting into her business like this. She has a point, but since when does she take advice from Santana? The answer: never.

* * *

Their break-up happened on Monday, for the next three days Quinn came to school and even showed up to Glee looking to be doing much of the same as she had been in the past. She left every break, coming back smelling of smoke. Her smile, weary, and not quite reaching her eyes. Rachel feels a pang of guilt knowing that she isn't doing anything to help Quinn get through this depression.

She had to stay a little long after Glee Thursday with Finn to go over their duet for sectionals. She didn't miss Quinn's lingering stare as she walked out of the choir room.

Friday brought Quinn out of her cloud of misery enough to ask Rachel if she had any plans for the weekend.

"Um, I-I actually do have plans this weekend sorry. B-but you're welcome to-"

"No, you go ahead and enjoy your weekend Rachel. I'll find something to do by myself, no need for a pity invite." Quinn replies sharply.

"What? It wasn't a pity invite, I was just caught off-guard by your speaking to me after days of silence."

"Whatever, like I said, have a nice weekend." Quinn walks off before Rachel could watch her long enough to see the pain she's in. If anyone can see it, it would be her.

* * *

The extra hour on the elliptical has Rachel drenched in sweat. She really hopes that all of the toxins from those drugs are fully out of her system. She hops into the shower to wash them away.

She dries her hair with a towel after wrapping herself up and stepping out into her closet to find something to wear for the day.

"Shoot, I was supposed to meet Judy for brunch." She rummages through her wardrobe quickly, grabbing a dress from the hanger and throwing it on.

As much as she doesn't want to see Quinn right now, she and Judy had this day planned a week ago. Her grounding was only for a week, since her fathers had no idea what was appropriate. She shoots a quick text to Judy, making sure they're still on and she receives a reply saying that she'll meet her there.

It's something to do, and she actually does like Judy in a way that Quinn will probably never understand.

"Hello sweetheart," Judy stands from the little table at the dining room of the Lima Country Club. She reaches out and gives Rachel a light hug in greeting.

"Hello Judy, I wasn't sure if you'd remembered our plans,"

"Oh, how could I forget? It's a rare thing, me having plans with a friend like this."

Rachel smiles warmly at her, she knows that Judy isn't lying, her loneliness was apparent since that day she just showed up at the Fabray home.

"So, why haven't you been over all week? I missed you on Thursday, you know I made that tofu stir-fry you told me about."

"Really? Was it good?"

"Yes, there's plenty left over, Quinnie didn't like it. You should come by, I'll send it home with you."

"That sounds great, but aren't we going to the salon after this?"

"Ah, you're right,"

* * *

'Damn it, my head,' Quinn rolls off of Mack's bed to find her boots. She ended up crashing here instead of driving home like usual. It's part of her being safer because of Rachel, even though it isn't enough, it's a step in the right direction.

She yawns as she stretches, drawing in at the pain of her new addition, brought about by too much tequila last night and Rachel on her mind. She peels back the bandage to look at her fresh ink, a shooting star on her right bicep. Sometimes she wants to slap herself after she makes some of these horrible decisions. She takes her bandana from her head to tie it around her arm. She shrugs, it's the best she can do without sleeves to cover it.

Her car's dash says it's one o'clock in the afternoon, her mom is going to probably bring up the rehab thing again. When she gets in, she yells for her mom but there is no answer. She looks in the garage to find it empty, her mom isn't even home, great.

After a long shower, Quinn heads downstairs to find something to eat. She hears giggling coming from the kitchen, since when does her mom have friends over?

"Quinn honey, is that you?"

"Yes," She replies hesitantly before stepping into the kitchen. Her jaw drops open when she sees just who it is with her mom in her kitchen. "Rachel, what are you doing?"

"Hi Quinn, I don't understand what you're asking."

"Why are you hanging out with my mom?"

Rachel looks at Judy as she sighs, "Quinn, we had this day planned before the incident okay, I didn't want to cancel because of what happened. Also, I needed someone to talk to, so…"

"It's true Quinnie, she's a very sweet girl. I wish that you would answer your phone more often when I call, I tried to invite you to come along,"

"Yeah right,"

"But I did too, remember?"

Quinn does remember when she thought it was a pity invite. The fallout from that little upset is what has her sporting a bandage on her right arm.

"So…what are you BFF's now?" Quinn spits out, she really doesn't want Judy poisoning Rachel's mind against her. She's probably the reason Rachel broke up with her in the first place.

"What if we were Quinn, is that a problem?"

"Duh, yeah it's a problem, she's _my_ mom!"

"Quinn, there's no need to be so hostile, I thought you two were friends."

"Oh mom, didn't she tell you? We broke up, as in, we were dating before and now we aren't anymore."

Quinn sneers as she watches her mother turn a concerned look towards Rachel.

"Is that true Rachel? Were you and Quinn…together?"

Tears spring from Rachel's eyes, she cannot believe Quinn just outed them to Judy out of spite that way. She'll probably never be able to look at her the same.

'Well, I had a nice time with her while it lasted.' Rachel thinks as she tries to control her breathing.

Judy reaches out a hand and begins to rub at Rachel's back. "It's…it's okay, Rachel." Her head snaps up to address Quinn shortly after. "Quinn! Apologize right this instant! Rachel has been nothing but kind to you and this is how you treat her? I may not have been a prefect parent,"

Quinn scoffs at that. 'Well you've got that right.'

"But I raised you to be polite and to have manners. So, tell her that you're sorry and we'll talk about this."

Quinn cannot believe this, there is no way. She is not going to apologize for telling the truth. It is just plain disgusting that Judy would accept and support someone else over her own flesh and blood in this situation. Quinn knows damn well if she had sat her down and told her this while they were alone, she'd be shipped off to some gay concentration camp in Texas or something.

"I am so out of here," She runs upstairs to her room to get dressed before grabbing her keys and making a swift getaway from those pod people that look a lot like her mom and Rachel, but just aren't acting that way.

* * *

"Come on Rachel, I'll put on some tea." Rachel follows Judy back over to the island and she takes a seat on a barstool.

Rachel feels as if this is a dream, or nightmare really. The way Quinn was acting, it was almost as if she were jealous of her spending time with her mom. Even if that were the case, she didn't have to react so childishly about it.

"What flavor of tea would you prefer? We have green, lemon, and ginger tea, dear."

"Um, ginger would be fine, thank you."

Rachel knows that Quinn pretended to be okay in the end, but she is still upset about the break up and it's understandable. She isn't alone, Rachel misses her as well, her touch, and those lips…

"Do you love my Quinnie?" Judy asks suddenly, Rachel is surprised to hear that question come from her.

"Uh, um, I-I...I don't know how to answer that. I've never _told_ Quinn that I love her, but I guess I do, yes." She swallows thickly after stammering to get that out.

"Thank you for being honest with me. I have to admit, that was a hard pill to swallow, actually hearing it come from her mouth in such a vicious way. She gets it from her father that temper."

"So, you knew and you don't hate me?" Rachel asks meekly.

Judy looks genuinely shocked. "Oh sweetie, why would I hate you? Because you and Quinn are lesbians? I know she probably thinks that I would after I allowed her to be taught that it was a horrible sin. But I personally don't agree with that, I know some wonderful, loving gay people. Quinn is a smart girl, she probably knows that I know, that's why she just did that."

"Judy,"

"Yes,"

"She needs to know that. That you don't hate this part of her, that you love her just the same. Quinn is so lost right now, dealing with the loss of something that she can never get back. It would help if she could get back a little of what she once had."

"It's not like I haven't tried talking to her, she never answers my calls and she ignores me here."

"You have to try harder, we're losing her..." She bites back tears. The Quinn that just lashed out at her was the old Quinn, captain of the Cheerios, Quinn.

* * *

'Screw Rachel, if she wants a mom so bad that she'll take Judy of all people, she can have her.'

She pulls up to the front of the Re-Up to see just the people she was looking for.

"Hey Ronnie, hey Jay,"

"What's up Quinn?" They say simultaneously, seriously, this family is made of clones.

"Got any more of those pills you gave me and Rachel that day?" She asks.

"Sure, here," Ronnie hands Quinn a baggie with three of them in there. She pops one into her mouth before walking into the store to get a fresh pack of smokes.

"Why do I feel like I've seen you somewhere before little lady?" Mack jokes.

"Shut up and get my pack." Quinn commands while rolling her eyes at the cheesy joke.

The Mack slaps down a pack of Newport's, "That'll be $6.25 please."

"What? I never pay for cigarettes."

"You do when you tell me to shut up."

Quinn lets out a frustrated growl, "Look, sorry okay, I just had a fight with Rachel and my mom at my house and I just took off."

"Really, I thought she broke up with you?" Quinn glares at her.

"Hey, it's true. How did she get to your house anyway?"

"I don't even know how it happened, but she's like besties with my mom for some reason. I can barely stand my mom for ten minutes, I just don't get it."

"Rachel probably feels the same about her own mom, yours is just different to her."

She wants to correct Mack and tell her that Rachel doesn't even have a mom, but then she remembers about Mack losing her mother. Then it dawns on her, Rachel has never even had a mom. Her real mother is off somewhere raising Beth and living _her_ happily ever after.

She's suddenly queasy and she feels terrible for being so possessive over Judy towards Rachel. How could she have not seen it before? They're both missing that something in their lives that could make them feel whole. Why couldn't they just be that for each other? Why did she have to screw it all up?

Quinn rushes back home to try to beat the pill's effects again.

It's too late and she is under when she gets in, Rachel immediately notices her bleary eyes.

"Quinn!" Rachel cries, "I cannot believe you went out and used, then you come right back home, knowing you would see me!"

"B-but, I'm sorry, really. I-I didn't mean to, I need you Rachel," She tries to hold her hand again, but Rachel pulls away.

"Ugh, I have to go,"

"Please! Don't go! I'm sorry, I know I messed up. I promise, I'll stop using, I swear. I need you to believe me Rachel." She's blubbering like an idiot, but she can't help it.

Rachel moves to walk out of the kitchen, but Quinn puts her arm out. "Wait, please, talk to me." Quinn begs.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this Quinn, don't you see how much it hurts me to see you like this? You need help, and you need it soon. Goodbye for now, and I'll stop coming by to see Judy if it's that much of a problem for you. We can meet up elsewhere from now on."

"You're just going to avoid me." Quinn states hollowly. "You know we have all the same classes, right?"

Rachel takes a deep breath, "I do know that, and we'll keep the same consolations of our break-up, but nothing more until you get it together."

And with that she walks out.

* * *

The mall was pretty desolate today, Quinn got to go from store to store finding plenty of dresses in her size and hats to try on. She shopped leisurely for a large chunk of her afternoon. It's no wonder people refer to it as retail therapy, she feels amazing when she brings all of the bags up to her room.

Having spent the night previous in her bathroom trying to get the pink out of her hair, it is now tucked under a scarf allowing her to try one of her newly purchased hats on for size again.

In the middle of a spin in her new dress, her phone chimes. She goes to answer it, it's a unknown number.

"Hello,"

"Quinn Fabray?"

"Yes,"

"Hi, Quinn, it's me, Shelby."

Quinn suddenly feels weak in the knees so she sits on the edge of her bed.

"Hi," Her voice cracks, what in the world is Shelby calling her for? What is this?

"I wanted to let you know, I've been talking to Noah and we feel that it would be a good idea if I came to Lima for a while, you know, to let you see and visit Beth."

"Wh-Really?" She's shaking, this is unbelievable!

"Yeah, um do you think that's something you'd like to do?"

"Oh, of course, yes." Quinn nods, even though Shelby cannot see it.

"Great, well the thing is, we're kind of already here so, would you like to see her today?"

Quinn releases a breathy moan, this has to be a dream. "Y-yes, I would like that very much."


	4. I Love You So

Sorry for the wait between updates, I hope you all enjoy.

* * *

I Love You So

'And now he's touching me, seriously? I didn't sign up for this.'

She chalks it up to him just being excited/nervous to see Beth again, really, it's the only reason she's showing up with him anywhere right now. He keeps annoyingly running his fingers through his mohawk as well, so yeah, he is definitely nervous. Quinn knows because she is too.

She walks with Puck up to Shelby's front door to her apartment. Apartment B. She smiles because she thinks Beth would probably get a kick out of that.

Then, it all happens quickly, the door opens and she's faced with Shelby once again. Damn it if Quinn doesn't jump a little at the startling resemblance to Rachel. It's very unnerving with everything that's been going on between them. She pushes thoughts of Rachel away to get through the formal greetings and then everything melts away at the sight of her.

Beth. Beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous little flower. She sits alone on a blanket littered with toys. Quinn makes her way over to her first, the tightening in her chest give way to the tears. The ones she's been crying for a year and better couldn't give her any relief, but seeing this perfect angel again, she can feel it. All the pain and anguish she's been keeping inside, gone, at the sight of her creation.

She really is perfect in every way, Quinn thinks.

Kneeling, she tries to greet the little cherub, "Hi, Beth,"

She gets a blank stare and no answer. "Whatcha got there, a bunny?" she asks.

"…later on, okay." Quinn only catches the end of Puck's last sentence before he makes his way over to them on the living room floor.

"Whoa, she really does look just like you. Hey, hi Beth, it's Papa, wanna play?"

Quinn internally cringes when she hears him use that epithet when she doesn't have the right to use her own. It's really disrespectful and she wants to let him know but it'll have to wait until later.

Meanwhile, she'll bask in the little time she has tonight to visit with Beth. She tries to get Beth to play with her little pony toy with her but she isn't having it, and then out of nowhere, Puck has her up in the air and she's actually laughing as he swings her around. She awkwardly gets to her feet trying to cover up the intense hurt she feels that Beth has warmed to Puck but not her.

"She just needs to see you guys a little more, she's a really playful baby usually." Shelby says as she watches Puck as he carefully flings Beth around, getting a few giggles out of her.

After a few more minutes, Beth is all tuckered out and Shelby let's them come help put her to bed. She shows them around her room just in case they ever have to get anything for her later on.

She shows them out after giving them both a big hug and thanking them for coming by. Quinn and Puck both thank her more for allowing them this opportunity.

"What was that? You told Beth you were her 'Papa'? You can be such an insensitive…ugh!"

The stupid look on his face, as if he didn't realize just makes her even more angry about it.

"Like really, how dare you? You're not her dad just as I am not her mom, got it!"

"Look Quinn, I'm sorry if that hurt your feelings but I want that little girl to know that I'm there for her. I feel Papa isn't as forward as Daddy, besides it could just be short for Puck, you know Pa-Pa-Puck."

"Are you serious? And just what is she supposed to call me huh?"

He doesn't say anything as he lets her into his pickup. Quinn knows that he doesn't have any excuse for doing what he did, and on top of that he tried to justify it.

"Exactly what I thought. Take me home right now Puck, before I do something that you'll regret."

He exhales a lengthy breath as he cuts his eyes at her, "Alright." Is all he says before starting up and taking off, heading back towards Lima Heights.

* * *

Rachel goes to her locker to grab her English textbook before first period. She's feeling chipper today since she had a restful Sunday after such a stressful and painful Saturday. She doesn't know of she can stand to talk to Quinn so soon after what she did. As she thinks of Quinn, somehow she can sense her arrival. Rachel turns around, to face an approaching blonde-haired Quinn, donned in a pretty dress equipped with a cardigan to boot.

'Well, that was fast. Let's just see if her insides match her outsides this time, though.'

Rachel turns back around, slams her locker shut and walks away quickly. Quinn saw her, but she doesn't dare try to talk to her just yet, she has to tell her when the time is right, preferably during free period before Glee.

She grabs her English book and drifts down the hall, steely expression in place, never once allowing anyone the opportunity to see her react to their stares. They stop in their tracks once again at her sudden change in outward appearance. These people really need to get out more.

* * *

It's after snack when she notices, the little shiny stud there in Quinn's right nostril. She replaced the ring, and if she had to say, this is a welcome improvement. The stud gives her a more subtle edge. It's true, she loved that grunge look on Quinn, but she hated the attitude that came with it.

She begins to stew on the few steamy moments they've had with Quinn dressed dangerously in all black. Rachel feels a little inappropriate reminiscing about Quinn while sitting right next to her in class, especially since she broke up with her over her new lifestyle. She misses her dearly, but somehow what Kurt told her this summer stuck and she refuses to go back to being treated like crap by her significant others.

It's fourth period, Quinn opens her notebook, and she begins writing down a short note to Rachel.

_Rachel, I know we aren't really talking right now because you have every right to be angry with me, but I have something important to tell you. Please, meet me in the second floor bathroom next period. Please? -Quinn_

She folds it neatly, and then takes a deep breath before gently sliding the note over to Rachel.

Rachel watches Quinn's hands intently as they fold the paper, she watches the note as it slides over, coming to a stop right in front of her.

She lets it sit there, wondering what Quinn could possibly have to say that's so important she had to write her a note in class about it. As she goes to pick it up, Mrs. Weitz begins to address the class, it seems they have to partner up for the next assignment due Friday.

"We're partners." She whispers to Quinn with a curt nod in her direction, not once facing her. It's not a request, it was purely a statement. Regardless of their failed romance, Quinn is a very good student, and if she wants an A, Quinn is the girl to partner with. Besides, she knows this is something Quinn would want anyway, she just wants to make it seem that she has no choice in the matter. She has no idea why.

The bell rings and Quinn watches as Rachel gathers her things, she places the letter in her front pocket. They both go to their lockers, still, Rachel hasn't opened the damn letter. Quinn takes a deep breath, she doesn't want to cry over something like this, it's just, the old Rachel would have beamed at her over a written note in class. She would have opened it immediately. Has she ruined _everything_ to a point of no return? Maybe not, because Rachel still wants to be her partner for this new History project. That means something, right?

'This locker is a mess already so soon in the year? I could really use another shelf in here.'

Rachel restacks her textbooks and cleans up a little trash from the bottom of her locker, she's in no rush because she has free fifth period. As she straightens up some of the old papers from the bottom shelf, she sees Quinn's lighter. She found it in her pocket one day and she put it in her locker to return to her but then everything happened and they were over and now all she has is this lighter…and the note Quinn gave her a few minutes ago. She turns around, Quinn's gone, but she already knew that. Her eyes trace over the words in the note, she wants to meet in the bathroom. It _has_ to be important.

* * *

"I know I don't deserve it, but thanks for coming."

"Even though I'm still angry about Saturday, I kind of promised to still talk to you. Granted, that was before you outed us to your mom out of anger, but I'll be the bigger person today."

"Rachel," Quinn drawls.

Rachel does not need to hear things like that here at school. Quinn needs to get to the point quickly or she'll have to leave in order to preserve her dignity.

"You have no idea how badly I regret hurting you like that, but it really wasn't directed towards you. I wanted to hurt my mom, for whatever reason, but I really didn't mean to hurt you and I'm so sorry for putting you through that Rachel. I wanted to tell you this when I came back on Saturday, but you weren't hearing it, you were right not to."

"Okay, so, what? Am I supposed to just forgive you? You change your clothes and-and your hair, but did you change anything else about yourself? Because I would rather you stay in all black as long as you did do something about the self destructive path you were on."

"Yes!" She has to remember to keep her cool with Rachel, she sometimes just finds herself becoming so defensive and lashing out at her, but she catches herself this time. "I did Rachel. I'm making a change, I realized it that day, how much I really do need you in my life, I think even more now..."

"Why, even more now?"

It just dawned on Quinn, Rachel could really be bothered by this news. She hopes she doesn't blame her, seeing as it's her biological child that's bringing Shelby back into her life to drum up old feelings.

"There's something you should know, it's about Shelby," Quinn pauses, she sees the look of shock displayed across Rachel's features.

"What Quinn, what is it?" Rachel questions. If she's back…

"She's back in Lima and she's allowing me and Puck to visit Beth. I've seen her already. Yesterday." She says stiltedly. This information could be harmful for their reconciliation if there is one to begin with. Quinn is nervous for how Rachel takes the news.

Her heart rate has picked up significantly. Rachel leans against her hands on one of the sinks. This is a shock if there ever was any, she thought Shelby would have gone and never looked back in order to live out her dream of what she thinks a good mother would be.

"T-that's a surprise. I bet you and Puck are happy, huh? To get to see your daughter again after so long." Rachel stammers. She cannot get a hold on one particular feeling about this. First, she's a little apprehensive, but then she's happy for Quinn and Noah at the same time.

"I am, but, are you okay? I know that you guys don't have a great history, that's why I wanted to let you know that she might be around. I didn't want you to just see her out somewhere and feel emotionally assaulted one day."

"Because you know what that feels like." Rachel looks up just in time to catch the hurt look on Quinn's face that breaks her heart into a million pieces.

The return of Beth is going to be a difficult journey for Quinn and she's going to need the support. Quinn calling Rachel here now just shows that she's here for her in regards to Shelby, and this is a good start for them in the right direction.

The bell rings for sixth period and neither of them moves to make an exit to get to class on time.

"Could you give me a ride home today? We can get a head start on the history assignment that way."

"Sure,"

Quinn is still a bit in awe of Rachel, she probably always will be, the way she can bring lightness to the heaviness in their relationship. It's all she ever does, bring light by shining the brightest in _all_ aspects of her life.

* * *

"Hey guys!" Mr. Schue clasps his hands in front of himself as he excitedly addresses the Glee club.

"So, how'd everyone's weekends go? The Beatles are the way we're going for sectionals, so let's practice the first song. Finn, Rachel, here's the sheet music, let's go through the vocals once before everyone else joins in."

Rachel stands to go up to Mr. Schue at the piano, Finn gives her a kind smile so she smiles back at him. They run through the song once and Finn keeps smiling at her throughout.

"Excuse me, Mr. Schue?" She interrupts the song.

"Yes Rachel," He answers unenthusiastically.

"While I enjoy performing duets, I really think this song would work better as a solo. No offense to Finn but I just feel my voice sounds a lot better without his scratchiness overlaying it."

Rachel doesn't miss Finn's marred expression, or Quinn's badly hidden smirk either.

"Is this okay with you Finn? Rachel may have a point here, let's hear it once with just Rachel from the top. Brad," Mr. Schue signals for Brad to start the song over again.

He starts to play the opening chords of... But they are immediately interrupted by Emma Pillsbury knocking on the open choir room door.

Mr. Schue walks over to her waving his hand, goading Rachel to continue on singing, and she does.

He glances back towards the group a few times while talking to Mrs. Pillsbury and Rachel catches his eye before he turns to Quinn.

"Quinn, Rachel, Noah, they want to see the three of you in Principal Figgins' office. Rachel narrows her eyes, she feels as if she might not enjoy this office visit. The fact that Quinn as well as Noah has been called along with her, means this has something to do with Shelby.

Quinn wonders just what the hell is going on, why are they being called to the principal's office?

* * *

"What is this?" Quinn asks as soon as she's through Principal Figgins' door. She knew Shelby was involved in this, but what is she doing at McKinley?

"Hi, guys. Rachel, how have you been?" Shelby tilts her head as she stares intently at Rachel.

She automatically grips into her own forearm to give her hands something to do because she feels so nervous. "Um, hi, I-I've been good."

"Good." Shelby nods to herself. "Well, have a seat, I asked Mr. Figgins to step out so that I could talk to you three."

"About what exactly?" Quinn questions again.

Shelby takes a deep breath as she perches herself on the edge of the desk. "Well, since I'll be here for a while, I decided to take a job, here, at McKinley."

Rachel knows that her mouth is open, but she doesn't care. This is preposterous! Why couldn't she go work at Carmel again or something?

"Wait a minute, where's Beth?" Puck finally speaks up to ask a very important question.

"Noah, she's fine. I put her in daycare here in town for the hours I'll be working, and afterschool, you and Quinn could come by to see her. You too Rachel…if you want."

She has no choice really, Beth is biologically Quinn's family and Shelby is her biological mother, so she'll definitely visit her. When, is the real question.

On one hand, she'd love to see Quinn interact with her daughter, but if Noah is there too, somehow it'd feel like intrusion on her part. If Quinn had given her baby to anyone else, she wouldn't even be _here_ right now. She takes a quick glance over at Quinn, she looks as concerned as anyone should be in this situation.

Quinn feels wrong for getting her hopes up, seeing as this has got to be hard for Rachel. She's going to have to see the woman that opted to stay out of her life after meeting her, everyday at school. There has to be some law against doing that to somebody. She cannot see herself refusing Beth at any point in her life, regardless the situation.

A warmth envelops her left hand, it's Rachel's. She loves the fact that she's trying to soothe her when she's the one that might need it more. Really, they're both going to need each other to get through this.

* * *

After that impromptu meeting in the principal's office, Quinn walks with Rachel back to their lockers hand in hand down the empty hallway.

"Remember, you're taking me home," Rachel pokes Quinn in the arm with her finger.

"Rachel, jeez, that was less than two hours ago when you asked. I know I'm a few months older than you, but I'm not senile."

Rachel laughs lightly, "I was just making sure,"

Quinn smiles, she loves Rachel's laugh, "Well, I-"

They drop hands as soon as they see Finn propped up against Rachel's locker.

"Hey," He straightens up when they get a little closer.

Quinn pretends not to see him as she opens her locker to get her bag, making sure not to forget her history book. She diddles around in there a little longer in order to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Hello Finn, what are you doing here?" Rachel asks curiously. He better not be trying to get back together again, today has been too much already.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About what? Sectionals? The song thing wasn't personal, I just thought-"

"No, Rachel, I get it, you're still angry at me about what I said and what happened this summer but I still think that we can work things out."

"Finn," She warns.

"Aw, come on, you know it's true. Tell me you didn't get that feeling when we were singing that song during glee. It was like before, and that's what scared you, that's why you didn't want to sing it with me, you felt it too much."

Rachel lets out an exhausted breath. Yes, it was true, Rachel had felt something singing that song, but not for Finn. It was all about her and Quinn, so singing that song with Finn just felt wrong and inappropriate.

"Ha, see? You can't even deny it, you felt something didn't you?" He looks so delighted with himself, Rachel doesn't know how to tell him he's completely off-base.

"And so what if I did Finn?" She knows Quinn's listening, she thinks she still deserves to suffer a little for her behavior this past weekend.

Quinn cringes, so Rachel still has feelings for Finn after all. Santana was right, she has to work hard at fixing things before Finn shows her up as usual.

"That still doesn't erase what happened between us Finn."

'What's wrong with his face?' Rachel cannot believe she used to like it when his face got all scrunched up like that, but now he just looks constipated.

"But I still love you," He whispers as he leans down closer, he shoots a glance towards Quinn, and Rachel admires his respect for his ex-girlfriend.

"I'm sorry Finn," Rachel says, whispering as well. "I can't tell you what to feel, how to feel or when to feel it, but, I can tell you this, I don't feel the same way that you do."

'Oh thank God," Quinn almost collapses from relaxing after being so tense a minute ago.

"But you said you felt something, when we were singing the song,"

"I-I know, and I did, but it wasn't for you specifically. Actually, it wasn't about you at all. I'm really sorry."

"Wait a minute, what? Who? It better not be Puck again Rachel, I swear to God,"

She can already see that vein in his neck protruding, "Finn no," she takes a step toward Quinn, "Look, I have to go. Quinn and I have a history project to work on. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, we will talk later. Bye Quinn." He grumbles before stalking off.

Quinn turns sharply as he disappears down the hall. "That was, interesting," she says.

"Interesting? How? That was just Finn being himself, the exact way he fooled me into falling for him the first time. But I'm older now, and I've learned a little about everyone I know around here. I know he was just fishing for something that wasn't there to get me back for whatever reason. It's hard for me to accept when he says he still loves me because he never really showed it."

"Are you sure about that? He went after you while still with his _pregnant_ girlfriend. And then everything that happened last year, I think he does love you."

"He doesn't love me any more than he loves you I'm sure. Besides, he had sex with someone else twice without telling me the truth."

Quinn freezes, how will Rachel react to her little indiscretion with Mack? Now isn't really the time to bring it up though, she'll tell her one of these days.

"How is what he did this summer any worse than what I did to you?"

Rachel feels a little offended for Quinn. Does she think unintentionally hurting her is the same as Finn's complete disregard of her feelings on more than one occasion.

"Quinn, how can you even compare? You wanna know how different you are, what makes you better?"

Quinn feigns nonchalance by shrugging and keeping on walking towards her car as Rachel walks alongside her.

"Last year, you, Quinn, a girl that wasn't even really a friend at the time, came through for me. Not for the entire glee club, just me. Personally. You did something that not one of the others, including my current boyfriend at the time, would ever do, you stood up for me. I'll never forget that. And that is what makes you better than all of them to me."

They approach her little red beetle and Quinn has to blink several times to keep her tears inside, she shouldn't cry over something so small, but then there's so much waiting to burst out at any given moment. She opens their doors, keeping silent still, afraid her wavering voice would give her away.

'The fact that Rachel Berry thinks I'm better than anyone else, how did this happen? It seems I was a better girlfriend back when we barely talked, and that's really screwed up. I have to make things better for her even more now, live up to the potential she thinks is in here somewhere.'

She swings open her car door and steps inside, she waits until Rachel is settled before starting the engine.

"You haven't said anything in a while, what are you thinking about now?"

"You."

"Oh really? Tell me, what you think about me?"

Quinn smiles at Rachel, ever the egomaniac, but for good reason. "You want me to tell you how much better you are than everyone else I know as well?"

"No, I-"

"You are though, and you know it. That's what sets you apart, you work hard and demand that everyone do the same. You're better because you've worked at it, and you don't rub it in everyone's face in a condescending way. Though you have your moments, you try and inspire everyone else around you to work to be better themselves, just so that you can have somebody to talk to up there. And me? I think I've always wanted to be the only one up there talking to you, but I was too afraid of what that meant, especially when Finn started clumsily trying to make it up your ladder."

"Ha, I like this metaphor,"

"It's just the way I see you. And as much as I hated it, you were better than me at something that I couldn't challenge you on, no one could. It made me dislike you, in a way that I can't explain because it really wasn't dislike. It was something quite the opposite,"

"You made fun of me because you liked me, it makes sense, in a schoolboy crush kind of way."

Quinn had never thought of herself as a schoolboy with a crush. "Huh," It does make a whole lot of sense now that she looks back on it.

They pull up into Rachel's driveway,

"My Fathers aren't here, so we have um, maybe two or three hours before they come home and you cannot be here when they do." Rachel checks to see if any of their neighbors are outside to see them go into the house. They could tell her Dads if they ask.

Out of respect, Quinn feels that she shouldn't go into Rachel's house without her parents' permission. "Well, maybe we can do this later, at my house then."

"No, I'm taking a little break from Judy since you hate seeing us together,"

"Rachel, I don't-" Quinn starts but then there's a calming hand on her shoulder and she shuts her mouth.

"Anyway, we're here now, let's go inside."

Quinn reluctantly opens her door and follows Rachel up to her doorstep.

* * *

"Alright so, I've got the markers and paper, and also lots of glitter! Let's get started."

Quinn rolls her eyes as she looks over the arts and crafts goods Rachel just dumped on the floor in front of her. "Okay, we can use this, this, but not that."

"What's wrong with my glitter?"

"Your glitter is what's wrong with your glitter."

"I just don't see the problem with it."

"Well, maybe I don't like using glitter."

Rachel gasps, she has never heard such a thing. "How can you not like that special sparkle that a little glitter gives to your projects Quinn?"

"I just don't? I've done plenty of projects without the use of glitter, I think we will do fine without it now."

"But I love using glitter," Rachel whines as she pets the container of rainbow colored glitter.

"Sorry, but I actually hate it Rachel. It gets everywhere, on your clothes, skin, in my eyes! I can't stand it!"

Rachel withdraws, she has never done a project without glitter. "M-maybe we should work on this another time, when we're not so hostile about shimmery powder."

"Maybe," Quinn mutters as she continues to outline their work. She looks up briefly to find Rachel still frowning, her bottom lip is so cute sticking out like that.

Suddenly she starts to laugh.

"What?" Rachel wonders what is so funny, Quinn was the one having a hissy over using the glitter.

"Oh God," Quinn continues to laugh, the work is pushed aside as she rolls around on the floor holding her sides.

"I really don't see what's so hilarious about this," Rachel cannot help it, the corners of her mouth begin to lift, and soon enough she's laughing along with Quinn.

"We just had an argument…over glitter!" Quinn howls, tears are forming in the corners of her eyes, she's laughing so hard.

Rachel takes a deep breath in order to calm herself, "Yeah, we have been bickering a lot lately. We've been acting more like a couple now that we're not together."

That sobers Quinn right up, "Maybe it's a sign that we should, I don't know, try again?"

As much as she wants to believe that Quinn is better, now that Beth is back, there's still a chance that she could regress again. She stands up, walks over to her vanity, and begins playing with her little trinkets as she thinks it over. All she needs right now is for Quinn to open up more and actually talk to her about what's going on.

"I think that,"

Quinn follows Rachel's every move, she can tell she's pushed her too soon.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, it's too soon." She retracts.

"Quinn, would you let me finish? What I was going to say was," She turns to face her, "I think that we should start over, completely, as friends first, okay?"

Quinn lights up, "Really?" she asks.

Rachel nods.

"Thank you! I mean, you don't know how much this means to me. I'm going to be a good friend to you, I already like you,"

"Enough to talk to me?" Rachel raises her eyebrows, Quinn isn't getting off that easily.

"What? Yes, I-I mean, what do you want to talk about?"

"We need to talk about everything that's happening, Shelby coming back…and Beth,"

Hearing Beth's name come from Rachel's mouth, hits her hard. The way she speaks so gently, as if Quinn would break if she spoke too loudly. It takes her back to last night when she saw her again for the first time. The tears come fast and hard, she really couldn't hold them in any longer.

"Oh my God, Quinn I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." Rachel rushes over to where Quinn is still sitting on her carpet. Quinn gets up onto her knees and tightly wraps her arms around Rachel's legs. Rachel gently cradles her head as she cries into the front of her dress.

Quinn pulls back to look up at Rachel, "She's so beautiful Rachel. I love her so much, but she doesn't know me. Why doesn't she remember me?" She cries.

"Oh Quinn, she will, you just have to give her time. Come on, let's get you up, we can sit on my bed."

"Okay," Quinn allows herself to be led to the bed, she doesn't protest when Rachel starts to remove her shoes.

"There, now we can lie down." Rachel says as she sets aside Quinn's shoes.

They both climb on top of the comforter and recline side by side on Rachel's bed. It's silent aside from Quinn's sniffling. She turns onto her side in order to breathe through at least one of her nostrils.

Their current positions remind Rachel of that night at Quinn's house. The night of their first kiss. "You want to know something?"

"Yeah?"

"When we were up there in your room that day, it was the first time that I actually thought I'd have a chance with you."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know, it was something in your eyes when you looked at me, like you felt me. I guess it was because you understood what I was going through and wanted nothing more than to end my pain. Instantly, it all just clicked into place and that's when I knew,"

"You knew what?" Quinn finds it to breathe through the pressure in her chest.

"I knew that...that you loved me and that I could love you in that way too."

"Did you ever?"

"Uh huh,"

"Still?"

"Yes."

Yes. It's simple, but it's true. She still loves Quinn, just because she does. Love isn't something that happens overnight and it damn sure takes a long time to fade and even then it never goes away completely, so yes, she loves Quinn and she deserves to know. She is loved, and maybe it'll help her through this.

Yes. That one single word was vital for Quinn to hear right now. It means so much, Rachel has to know, that this means the world to her. The fact that she can still love her despite knowing how horrible she can be, it's everything no one else has ever done, and it's everything she dreamed she'd never have. Which, she sort of doesn't, not completely anyway. And that's what needs to fixed, she needs Rachel to be assured that she only has the best intentions when it comes to her.

The only other person she would make this effort for is her daughter, but Beth is a given. Rachel is someone that has been and can be hers to keep, not in a possessive way though, just someone to call her own. Most everyone wants that deep down she thinks, to have that one person you want around all the time that wants you around just as much.

Rachel is that to Quinn.

Quinn feels herself being enveloped in a warm embrace from behind as she continues to cry. Her tears begin to subside as sleepiness overtakes her and she feels herself drift off.

* * *

Rachel is jolted awake by the heavy handed knocking on her bedroom door.

"Oh crap!" Rachel releases the hold she has on Quinn only to have her arm yanked back down around Quinn's waist.

"No, Quinn wake up, my Dad is home!" Rachel shakes her awake to make sure she knows what's going on.

"What? Oh man, I knew it wasn't a good idea, but I couldn't stay awake."Quinn hops off the bed and starts to put on her shoes.

Rachel puts a hand on her arm to stop her, "Hold on, let me talk to him. I guarantee you he'll understand."

She walks over to her door, twisting the knob and allowing her father to come in.

"Rachel, I thought we discussed this, Quinn isn't allowed over for a while and it hasn't even been a month yet and you've disobeyed us already. And on top of it, she's upstairs, in your room, neither of your parents are home…" He raises his eyebrows at his daughter.

"Dad, no, we weren't…we have a history project due Friday and we're partners. We we're only working on it until we started talking about…something serious, and then we fell asleep."

"Right, is that the history project there?" He points to the craft items strewn across her floor.

"Yes, we still have a lot of work to do,"

"Well, you said you have until Friday, so, Quinn I think it's time for you to go home now. You can come back after school until the project is finished and then on Friday night, you and your mother can come over for dinner. How's that sound?"

"That sounds great Mr. Berry and I'm sorry we didn't ask permission first, we just got the assignment today."

"Quinn, it's not like we don't approve of your relationship with Rachel, we just feel that you've been making some poor decisions lately. We don't want to see Rachel hurt, you understand?"

"Yes sir,"

"Okay Dad, that's enough, Quinn and I are just friends now, and I can take care of myself when it comes to my love life thank you."

"Hey, it doesn't matter whom you bring home young lady, they're going to get a talking to from your dear old Dad. You know the routine. And after everything that has happened, I have every right to be cautious, okay?"

"Okay, just, let me walk Quinn out. Is that okay with you?"

"It's fine, have a nice evening Quinn."

"You too, Mr. Berry."

Rachel grabs Quinn by the arm and leads her down the stairs and to the front door.

"God, that was intense, your Dad can be pretty frightening when he wants to be."

"He's harmless, neither of my Fathers mean you any harm Quinn it's just, I'm their only child. I'll be going away to college soon, but they don't seem to realize that I'm growing up and can make my own decisions regarding the people I keep around."

"I don't want them to have to worry about _me_ though, I want them to trust that I do care about you and I want what's best for you too."

"Well, make sure you're early for dinner on Friday, and bring them a bottle of red wine."

"Alright, so now what? Am I supposed to ask my mom to come with me? She'll probably have something better to do-"

"Quinn, did you forget that I'm her new favorite person? She wouldn't skip dinner with _me_ at least." Rachel jokes.

"Very funny."

They finally say goodbye to each other outside at Quinn's car. Rachel hugs her and she feels that two weeks is too long between hugs for her. She would prefer numerous hugs like this every day.

* * *

Quinn's phone rings as she drives away from Rachel's house. She checks who it is when she comes to a stop at the corner. It's Mack, she wonders what it is, because she never calls her.

"Hello?"

"Hey, where were you today? We missed you under the bleachers."

"Oh, well , I'm taking a break from smoking, I'm trying to make things work with Rachel, so..."

"I get it. I could tell she wants what's best for you and we can all admit that smoking is bad for you, so, more power to you for quitting before it gets bad. I've been smoking since I was twelve, believe me, it gets bad."

"Twelve? God, I hadn't even started my period yet."

"Yeah, well I was an early bloomer and I had a lot of older friends,"

"Jeez, well, anyway, that's why I've been M.I.A. today and I probably will be even more now that Beth is back in town and I'm allowed to see her."

"Are you shitting me? Quinn! That's awesome! I'm so happy for you man."

Quinn laughs, "Thanks, so what's been up with you today?"

"My Dad called, he says he's getting out in two months. He has a girlfriend in Arizona and he's going to go live with her out there."

"Aw, wow, so he's not going to stay here in Lima with you?"

"Well, that's the thing, he wants to take me with him."

Quinn didn't expect to hear that, and surprisingly, she feels she'll really miss Mack when she's gone. They've sort of developed a bond over the summer and she'd like to think that they're friends now. This is going to be a little difficult, but Quinn knows Mack will keep in touch over time.

"That's, wow, um, are you going to go with him?"

"He told me she had a nice house out there, and anything would be better than the craphole I live in right now. I guess, I'll see what happens when he gets out you know. But all signs are pointing towards me getting out of Lima, and that was the plan all along right?"

"It is, but what about school? Are you going to go to some new high school for senior year?"

"Yeah, not exactly, I was thinking about getting my GED when I get there and start at community college right after. Quinn, you have to admit, I wasn't going to graduate from McKinley at this rate anyway."

"No, you could've done it, I would have made you."

"I am nowhere near as smart as you or Rachel, and I barely go to class, so…"

"I think, that I'm gonna miss,"

"Aw,"

"Getting cigarettes from you."

"What? You bitch! You're gonna miss me, I know it. I showed you a good time when we hung out, and we've got two more months, I've got to do something, and you're gonna help me."

"Uh, help you do what?"

"I don't know yet, but it's going to be big. And don't worry, I'll make sure to take the blame before jumping trains."

Quinn hangs up the phone with Mack, she suddenly feels like a cigarette, she starts tapping her fingers on her steering wheel, itching to open that locked glove box to get one out and light up.

She sits there, where she has pulled over to the curb during her phone call, trying desperately to keep control over herself. She wants to call Mack back and have her talk her down, or maybe Rachel, but she refuses to depend on them to keep her together. Minutes go by, and her resistance is wearing down, she snaps and yanks her keys from the ignition to use them to unlock the glove box. Her hands are shaking and she cannot get the right key into the lock.

Her phone ringing almost makes her jump out of her skin, she gives up on the lock and picks up her phone.

"What do you want Puck?"

"Q, I'm heading over to Shelby's, I was wondering if you wanted to come too."

Quinn takes a deep breath, thank God for her little girl. She's the only one that could really get her through this.

"Yes I want to come, where are you?"


End file.
